Love to Lose

Love to Lose(unedited)

"Am here," she texted. A text that took him from bed to the door. He stood watching her as she slowly closed the gate behind her and when she felt his eyes on her, she blushed.
She couldn't look at him straight in his eyes, she walked slowly and he was there rooted still leaning at the door, with just a trouser tightened with a belt and a white vest...all defined his curves. She stood right before him.
She smiled and fixed her eyes down, bent to take off her boots then stood.
He said nothing, he just took her handbag and threw it slowly onto the couch.
He held her waist and looked straight into her eyes like he was training her on a staring game.
He held her chin with his right hand and his left hand held her still.
He bent slowly and his lips touched hers like he was greeting her.
Then he loosen his breath and whispered, "I've missed you. Am glad you made it." She tightened her grip around his neck and breathed in.
       "You must be hungry. Will you take anything?" He asked
"I will take you first." She said. His hands were still on her waist.
Love had shown Penina the bright and right side so far, she was in the deepest part of the ocean of love, and so far she cared less if she would drown as long as Moses was with her, death was not stronger than the love they had.
"You are really in the mood. I like that, but you got to eat " he said.
"But I don't want to eat now Moses." She said a little anger in her voice.
"Okay, ma'am. Come here. He squeezed them to him and embraced her with a tight hug. As if reading her mind " give me the kiss again" he touched her lips and she gave it her best as always.
He just smiled and said," I got you something, come with me." He held his hand and moved to stare by a stare to the bedroom.
"Do you want to close your eyes or open them?" He asked.
"No, I want to see what it is." She said.
"Okay, trust me. Come close to me. Turn around, face the mirror." He instructed and she followed to the latter
"You obedient little girl. He said with a kind of excitement from a deeper part of his heart.
She stood there facing the mirror and he unzipped her dress, took it off from her hands, and pushed it to her toes. She was burning with anxiety from inside but she trusted the man behind her back.
He then held her shoulders and turned her to himself.
He said nothing he looked to his table and quickly moved a few steps to pick up the chair.
" Will you take a seat or do you prefer the bed?" He asked.
"I prefer to seat first," she answered. She moved to the bed close to the table curiously waiting for what was next.
Lie down and face me, I will seat close to the table like am studying. put your legs crossed to each other, one of your hands supporting your head and the other one on your thighs.
He took out his art book and put on her sketch.
"Can I see what you're doing at least?" She asked smilingly.
"No babe, stay still." Don't move." he said putting on a serious face.
After a few minutes, he was done he pulled the middle drawer and put the book then closed it.
"You're serious am not going to see what you were doing."
"Not now." He said.
"Okay." She agreed.
He then moved and sat close to her.
"Do you want to put on something?" He asked.
"No am fine." He looked at her bit his lip and looked away for a sec.
"Are you... Oh my goodness I thought I was the one shy here."
"No it's not like that," he lost the sentence in his head.
The game began and two hours later Penina woke up and looked at the watch on the wall.
Oh my, I was supposed to call my dad to give him my school fees balance. Where is my phone?" She complained and woke Moses up but he was too lazy to get up.
"It is downstairs." He said lazily.
She covered herself with Moses' robe and quickly went to find her phone.
So many messages and missed calls from her friends and her parents.
"Dad, am sorry I got out of class and I was tired I slept. My fee balance is sixty-five thousand. Say hi to mum.
" I was calling to inform you that your mum is in the hospital, I won't be able to pay your fees this semester. Am sorry.
"What happened?" She asked quickly.
"There was a robbery at her store, she was shot on her back and she is now in theatre. Don't worry she will be fine."
"Okay, I will see what to do."
After the call, she sat on the couch. Reading the messages Raj sent to her phone.
Raj was a great guy, he was twenty-eight years, just four years older than her. She met him while traveling home and she enjoyed the journey. Raj wanted to date her, spoil her, buy her anything she wanted, all she had to do was love him. Then there was Moses, the love of her poor life.
"I want to take you out this weekend talk to me, princess." She read the message.
She was happy with Moses, he was a painter and a musician who earned money through gigs and selling paints. But it wasn't enough because he took care of his family too.
Raj was just a rich guy from head to toes. He knew no struggles and his life was just great. Now she won't even sit for her final exams. She knew Raj could pay for her, but she never loved him. She couldn't leave Moses.
She stood and went to the kitchen and made rice and stew.
Penina always tried to find time and travel from school to Moses' place. Most girls who never dated on campus would do the same. He was great and she even prayed to marry him in the future but now...
"My exams also hold my future if I don't graduate there is no bright future, rising school fees had been something against a stumbling block and I've drawn a blank." She thought.
"Hey, are you okay?" Moses asked. He was in the sitting room but she did not even notice him coming.
"My mother is in hospital, he was shot by robbers in a store. My dad won't be able to pay my school fees this time."
"Oh babe, am sorry."
He said the only sentence that came to his brain.
"Anything I can do to help?" He asked. Penina looked at him and lacked a word. She wished he was Raj. She wishes he was the one with all, holding her heart.
"I'll be fine, but I need to go home, or find something to do to raise the money before exams begin next week but one." She said.
"I only have five thousand, you can visit your mother first." He said.
"No, if you give me that you will starve you already gave me fare."
"I'll be fine. Am sorry about the school fees too. I wish...
"stop wishing for anything. You're the best thing I want let's not have a bone of contention over that."
He looked at her and just sat on the couch. She kept cooking.
Moses then went upstairs. Penina served him in bed.
"Are you going to see him?" He said trying to swallow a spoon of rice.
"Who is him?"
"Raj."
"Babe, where did...
" Don't babe me, the guy is rich you said you are going to find something to do. Are you going to sleep with...
" Stop, just stop!" He put his plate in the drawer, his eyes were turning.
" since when?" he asked.
"I never did anything wrong with him, Moses believes me."
"So all the time you are online not texting me I think you're on your assignments but now I realize he keeps you busy. I see your sex texting him. You send him pictures as you do to me, what the hell is that Nina?"
"You read through the texts Moses?"
"Are you asking me that right now?" He stood up.
"Do you know how many ladies get to my inbox, look at my unread messages, I only attend to you. But it seems you're having fun somewhere else." His voice raised and fell and he was going to cry if she never stopped talking.
She realized how painful it was for him, she knew he wanted to be enough for her, but she also knew she couldn't have it all.
"I should go back to school now." She said slowly putting her plate still full on the table.
"I know things are not great, but I am working on something great. Give me some time please "
"Moses listen, you are a good man and I love you but I have to work hard for us to enjoy this love." She said while dressing and quickly went downstairs to pick up her bag and left him with thoughts eating his thinking capacity like a fire eating up dry grasses in a field.
Penina left knowing her action will cost her, she was not been honest or lucky with playing games. She never wins.
She called home and her mother was out of danger.
Raj picked her up that night and went with her to a club in town
"So did you break up with your little boyfriend?" He asked.
"Can we not talk about it please?"
"Wooow someone is pissed.
" no am not, am happy to be here with you. You look a little darker than in the picture."
He gave a smile, "and you look more beautiful in person." He complimented.
Penina toyed with her food looking at the man before him and the man in her mind fighting in her imaginative world.
When none of them showed signs of giving up, her mind was woken up and brought back by the sound of a fallen spoon on the floor.
"You need a drink?" He asked her.
" I don't drink," she said thoughtfully.
"Come on you should try one, let me order something not too strong. Just enjoy the feeling of it." He said.
"What feeling."
"See the one that makes people forget something and just dance, like those ladies over there." He pointed at a group of girls who were dancing crazily.
"She wanted to forget how she made Moses feel, but not with a drink but in the building that was the only way left.
" go get me the drink." She ordered.
"Mmmh I like that." He stood to go to the drinks table and ordered a few glasses.
She waited watching people standing to dance some going out with boyfriends drunk beyond balance. Some ran to the restrooms. And few just sat to talk. The music was still soft and she never heard it again after the second glass. Raj encouraged her to just close her eyes and drink at once. She remembers him getting up from his chair and her eyes went dim. A fog formed around her face and she couldn't see.
She wanted to dance but her legs resisted standing. She felt her hands weak and her head spun. She thought she saw Moses or Raj she wasn't sure.
She had no idea how she got in that room but she woke up, naked with a migraine.
"Good morning baby, you sleep hard." She rubbed her eyes to see and testify of the evil she had committed.
"Did we sleep here...
" yes, my goodness you were so great. You never wanted to stop...
"Stop what."
"You were the leader baby...
" Don't..."
"Where am I?" She asked looking around.
"In a hotel." She felt anger rising but she felt afraid.
"What is that sound?"
"Well, apparently, a girl has been killed. The police took her body and they are still looking for people who were with her. But it's not this hotel, it's the next one. Relax. By the way, your little man kept calling so I switched off the off." He said sipping from a glass.
"It's coffee, you want I ordered breakfast for you already." He said.
She looked at him, then looked at herself. She felt her hair rough, her legs felt a little pain.
"I bought you a dress. And shoes, I hope you like them." He said.
"Raj, you didn't sleep with me.?" She asked.
"Not that I forced you. You cried for me, I felt the urge in your voice, you were just sweet, special ...
" I was drunk."
"Are you saying I raped you now? You wanted that. If there is one to complain about, it's me I wasn't prepared, I just wanted the date to know you better. "
"Sorry." She said the only word she got wandering in her mind.