The Girl with the Plan

15

Today, Gracie is back finally. It's only been a week. But it feels like forever. Everything is more lonely without her by my side, I can make fun of Larry and Van as much as I like but we're not that different, not really. To celebrate her return, her, Nathan and I are heading to a town not far from us to go out for a meal.

Before me sits a spaghetti carbonara, something I should not be having when trying to diet but Gracie insisted I get it. I stare at it, playing around with my fork imaging just how many calories it carries;

"Stop it would ya? It's not gonna make you fat," Grace rolls her eyes and I smile.

"No I know, I'm just miles away as usual," I smile back, finally digging my fork into the pasta and making a point to her of shoving it in my mouth.

She's been quieter than usual this evening, both Nathan and I have been forcing her into conversation, carrying most of it on our backs. It's strange for her, especially considering she hasn't seen us.

"What's up with you mardy arse?" Nathan finally says, slamming his fork down playfully as Grace looks up to him with wide eyes.

"Nothing!" she insists but he just gives her a look which leads her to sigh.

"Larry's gonna hate me now isn't he, I'd love to go to the pub after this but I can't stop thinking about how much I've upset him. I'm evil."

She dramatically collapses her head into the palm of her hand and lets out a small frustrated groan. I widen my eyes, wondering what's come over her to care so much.

"Larry's all fine. He called me the other day begging me to come to Mary and Bernies for a roast because he didn't want us to stop hanging out. If he feels like that about me, he's gonna feel even more so like that towards you," I say, holding her arm in reassurance.

"I feel like such an idiot though. Any girl would be lucky to have that boy, and I've just walked over him like that-"

"Give it a rest Gracie, you didn't mean to. He knew the policy from the beginning. There's no reason why yous can't just get past it and be mates," Nathan cuts her off and she eventually smiles after thinking for a second.

"I guess you're right, well I guess that's my complicated way of asking if anybody wants a pint after this then?" she laughs and we both join in with her, mocking her dramatisation of everything.

Though, I shouldn't mock. I'm under exaggerating how cruel I have been to Jon. There's still not that spark, yet I slept with him again last night- waking up next to him in bed and doing my usual of rolling out in regret. I just don't like him like that, and I wish I could find a simple way to tell him but I can't. I know it'll break his heart.

"How are you and Jon getting on?"

I groan, it's my turn now to hold my head in my hands- not wanting to have this conversation with Gracie. She will surely tell me straight that I'm being a cunning bitch, and that's before she knows about my sexual endeavour with Van.

"Just bloody end it with him already!" she exclaims, flailing her hand in the air with annoyance.

"You've never put up with it before, what's stopping you now?" Nathan asks and I shrug,

"God I don't know. Maybe I'm that insecure, I just need someone to look at me how he does," I admit, watching as both their faces pull into one of sorrow.

"Oh Kath. You're the most confident girl I know- there's no way you're going unnoticed even if you were butt ugly," Nathan laughs.

"You're right- I'm being bloody ridiculous, if I see him tonight I'll tell him it's done," I confirm and they nod happily.