𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗨𝗦 ? (wlw)

⚘᠂ 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡

Slowly, I pushed my legs back down into a crossed position. Now, having my hands resting in my lap, where I let them sit to be something to stare at. I wasn't going to rush but I wasn't going to stall either. I had to prepare at least somehow and even though I didn't have a lot of time, I paused and took a deep breath.

"I need to tell you something." I announced, only through sniffles and dread as I finally lifted my head to look at her.

For a moment, she said nothing and just nodded. It was a slow nod, one where she looked like she was thinking during it but a nod at the least. "Okay." She paused. "What is it?"

I looked at her, feeling the heat rise further throughout my body. I had trust in her, yet I didn't know how long she'd want to respect my trust for. I sniffled, trying to prepare myself even more. I had spent years trying to prepare for this, why was it so hard now?

I let my vision wander off to my lap once more and just allowed the words I most feared, to come spilling out. "I like girls."

Silence. Silence. It was like an elephant had just walked into the room. I didn't want to look up. I didn't want to look at her face. I didn't want to do anything other than stare at my lap because maybe if I looked long enough, I'd disappear. It wasn't even the hard part compared to the next confession but it was enough to make Alina quiet that was for sure. What she was even thinking, I didn't know. I didn't know if I even wanted to know.

"What?" Her tone had now changed, unsurprisingly. It had gone from caring to a more dismayed one. It was quieter and wasn't her usual tone. I still hadn't looked up, only making out that her expression wasn't good due to her slight leaning back.

The torture of not knowing only caught up, just as fast as everything else did, and I slowly hitched my vision onto her. My head moved slowly, bracing myself for the worst reaction possible, until I looked right back at her. It wasn't what I expected. She didn't look angry. She didn't look upset. She just looked slightly bewildered and a little blank. There was much more to tell, but from her reaction I hadn't been completely discouraged just yet.

She looked away, her pupils going back and forth slightly as I assumed she was trying to piece everything together or let it all process. But I could tell she wanted to say something.

"Y- you're..." She looked back at me, breathing in slightly as I now assumed she was trying to not say the wrong thing. "You're gay?"

I don't know why hearing the word shocked my system, but it did. It was probably because another person was saying it to me, instead of me being the one thinking it. I just had never heard it out loud before.

The only thing I could do was nod. And I did. It was a small one, a hesitant one if you will as I sniffled and looked back down into my lap.

Not much was said, I believe we were both processing it together. Alina more than me but it was still sinking into my skin.

"Okay." It left her mouth with hesitance too, being the first word, in what felt like forever, to enter the corrupt silence. "I'm...shocked. Um, I mean. I had never expected that."

So far, she was doing alright. I still didn't know how she thought of it one hundred percent but I didn't feel like she hated me, so far at least. Still, I kept my head down, awaiting the next few words. I only really looked up when her demeanour changed and her body had seemingly moved back in.