Don't let me down

Nineteen

Brook

Those past days, I've come to question my gender way to much than normal.

I always see all the trans and non binary people and think I relate to them really bad.

I even took a quiz to see if I really I'm transgender, and yea I think I am.

I came finally to realise why I thought I was different from other girls I say, I thought everyone didn't liked their chest but no it's just me. Im a boy.

It's still kinda confusing for me all this new information but I have processed the most of it.

The thing I really new for sure sure it's I'm totally not a girl. I was born in the wrong body.

From a little kid I thought he/ him pronouns were better and fitted more but now I realised.

It feels good to at least know who I am.

I just thought that now I'll have to come out to everyone for third time. Jesus. First time I came out as bisexual and second as a lesbian.

Gosh I'm not in the mood for that shit again, I'll just tell my best friend and my family I really don't give a crap about others right now.

That's all good and stuff but I don't think I'll change my name cause it's kinda neutral so I'm good for now. And I'm used to it.

Good thing is I'll go out with George now and I won't be in this shitwhole I call home. Sometimes I get sick of it.

I got out of my messy room and walked outside wi th my hoodie on my head, I couldn't care less if there were 40 degrees outside I just like it.

I grabbed my skate and skated over to George's house where we are supposed to meet right now.

As I arrived I saw him taking pictures of himself, Jesus he is ridiculous.

I walked over to him and give him a small slap in the back of his head. He seemed annoyed by it but I don't really care.

"Fucks sake Brook you're annoying" he said and got up from his seat.

"I know I know but I like annoying you so idk what you're saying" I said and he scoffed.

"Shit up you little brat" he said and I punched his shoulder.

"Come on let's go" I said while completely ignoring what he said. 

"Challenge whoever arrives first at the park wins" he said excited and stormed of fast and I started chasing him trying to go past him.

"Oh you are gonna regret this" I said and tried my best to past him successfully.

"HA IM WINNING YOU TWAT" I said looking behind me as my feet were on fire from how fast I was actually going.

"I REALLY HATE YOU" I heard him saying from distance behind me.

The fact is that we have to pass my house to go to that shit park and if my parents see me skating so fucking fast they probably won't let me even see a skateboard again in my life. 

I turned in the corner of my house and suddenly I saw George passing me, how dare he.

"HEY HOW DARE YOU PASS ME" I screamed really loud I could feel the whole neighbourhood could hear me.

"AHAHAHHH" he just laughed at my face.

"I HATE YOUUUU" I screamed again loud.

I put all my strength and finally passed him again, we where one bloke away from home.

I turned and saw all the family on the yard sitting and all staring at as confused. Gosh so embarrassing.

"WATCH OUT" I heard George yell but before I could turn and see what was happening I hit to a column.

Ouch that hurt a lot, but I couldn't let the race down. I got up quickly and chased my skate that was running on its own. When I got it I started skating again.

"THE RACE ISNT OVER YOU JERK" I yelled to George who was far behind still in shock. I was kinda dizzy I must admit but it doesn't matter that much.

After some time we finally got there and of course I won. I got down from my skate and sifted down on a bench and then George came too.

"See I won" I said and smirked in his face.

"Yea yea but you felt and now you look like a panda" he said sounding worried and serious for the first time in his damn life.

"Wtf do you mean?" I said a lot of confused.

"Your eyes are black cause you hit on the column" he said pointing to my eyes.

"Pff it's probably not that bad" I said not caring at all.

I then got out my phone and saw my eyes, it's way worse than I originally thought. Shit.

"Jesus. It's gonna be okay I guess. The only thing I'm afraid right now is that my parents won't let me skate again after that" I said to George.

"It's gonna be okay, let's go skate and forget about it for now." He said and I nodded.

We grabbed out skated and started trying out different tricks and stuff there till the sun went down.

The time always manages to pass by so fast every time I spend time with George. This is amazing.

"Wanna go and watch the stars from the hill?" He suggested and I nodded of course.

We grabbed our skates and skated calmly to the hill we like sitting at. You know the one at Hollywood.

When we finally arrived we just sitted down and enjoyed the view and the silence.

"Aren't you feeling hot on that hoodie?" He asked like he didn't knew.

"I am" I said simply.

"Then why are you wearing it?" He asked again.

"You know why just put your mind together" I said and he did really tried to think.

"Ah yes sorry" he said finally understanding what I was talking about.

"It's okay" I said and patted his back.

Then silence filled the place, not the awkward one the comfortable one. Which was good.

And now I'm thinking of it this is a great change to come out to him as trans.

"I have something to tell you" I said breaking that silence. 

"Is it bad? Do I have to be scared?" He said and I giggled.

"Nah it's a good one this time" I said and he nodded kinda relieved.

"So?" He asked.

"I am trans boy"