Breakable gold

Chapter 13

No one can remember all the special moments in their life.

Cause honestly, who would know when it's their last time normally talking to their beloved people before their die.
Who would know when it's their last normal day before everything goes downhill. Before their life is completely upside down.

You're not in the position to cherish every single moment to keep it somewhere close to your heart. Safe and warm.

Some of these memories can get refreshed by seeing a picture, but no one can tell you what your mother said the last time you saw her. How her eyes were shining. The tune in her voice.

You can't get this back. No money, no power in the world can bring this back.

But the things you remember on the other hand are much more terrifying.
Like in this case: the moment of death.
You won't be able to ever forget how she looked in her grave or how it felt to walk behind her at the funeral, tears rolling down your cheeks.

Your brain decides what you remember.

You have no control.

*

Louis didn't remember.

Thinking back to the day she died, brought a hollow feeling in his chest. The only thing he could clearly remember was the call from the police, saying that there was an accident.

He remembered the stuttering of the police officer. He remembered him saying „I'm sorry for your loose. We need you to come here and sign some papers.".
Remembering this but not the last conversation with his mother mad Louis feel sick about himself.

He hated the feeling of being a disappointment for not being a good son. For doing something wrong.

*

Louis had no intentions on talking to someone about the weekend. And he knew that he was going to get asked by at least Danielle and Zayn for cancelling their meeting up.

God damn awful shit, god damn Harry fucking Styles has put him in.
With his stupid smirk and his stupid dimples.
(Those dimples need an award)

The only thing ghosting through his head was:
„I'm gonna break this of".
Whatever Styles is thinking what is developing between them, he was wrong. Nothing was happening between the two of them, ever.
Cause no matter how much he wanted to chase these feelings, he was not going to allow himself to. He was not going to allow himself to fall.

To lose control again.

Harry Styles was a small part of Louis' story, who left a giant impact in his past. A Bigfoot footprint in his current state of mind.

And the motherfucker didn't even know.
He would never in a million years know, what he took away from him.

While these thoughts rolled through Louis' mind he was just about to bring the finished  dishes to table 5.
He wasn't really in the mood to work at the restaurant today, especially cause they was a  chance that Richie Rich would show up, Including the rich frog, but he needed the money.

Danielle was serving table 3, 4, 7, 10 and 16 while Louis had table 2, 5, 8, 12 and 15.
Today was a busy day so they were both very occupied to fulfil every guest's wish.
And Louis prayed to the gods above that he wouldn't get the one person he wanted to avoid at all costs on top of this fuss.

He didn't need those green shining orbs on him, following his every movement. He didn't need those brown chocolate curls in front of him, confronting him with something inside of him he wasn't ready for. Something he had no control about.

*

His shift was going well.
No exhausting guests.
No broken plates.
No Harry Styles.

„Louis! Hey! No daydreaming at work." Danielle slapped his arm hard.
„Ouch!" Louis whined „what did I do to you?"
„You need to pay attention! Your boy toy is here!" Danielle winked at him.
„I don't have a boy... toy. What the fuck Danielle!" Louis exclaimed.
„Turn around." and he did. And wow... that's it with ‚no Harry Styles'.
„He's not my fucking boy toy what are you on about?! That ridiculous, we can't even stand each other." more like they could stand each other way to much for Louis' liking.

„He wants you to take over their table." Danielle smiled. Way to freaking happy.
„But I don't want to." Louis responded calmly, turning around and taking empty dishes to the kitchen.
„Don't walk away from it! Come on Louis." she gently tucked on his arm and made him turn around to face her again.
„I don't want to talk to him." Louis' voice sounded tired. Just how he felt.
Danielle's eyes got worried and her brows furrowed together. „What happened Lou? What are you not telling me?"

Louis exhaled a long lasting breath and took a second to think about telling her everything.
He decided against it.

„Just drop it Dani. Please." he turned back around and entered the kitchen. Not regretting his decision to keep a distance.

*

Louis was exhausted. Fucking exhausted when he existed the restaurant two hours later.
He took his jacket and car keys out of his locker and used the back door to where his car was parked. He just wanted to say his sisters goodnight and then fall into his still cold bed.

Just as he was about to put the keys into his car he heard footsteps approaching him from behind. (Spoiler alert: Louis was in a self defence lesson till he was 14 years old)
The moment the footsteps stopped right behind his back Louis turn around in a swift movement and knocked the person to their knees. Using all of his power to keep their right arm pressed against the back.

„Ahh! Stop stop." the person screamed. As Louis wanted to ask who the person was, recognising filled his mind and he stepped back abruptly, hitting his car.
„I'm so sorry. Shit what are you even doing?!" Louis whisper screamed. His heart beating at an abnormal race.

„I wanted to talk to you but apparently you didn't want to see me right away." Harry lifted himself from the dirty and wet ground and tapped his pants to remove little stones and mud.
„So you thought it's a good idea to sneak up to me in the middle of the night? Harry, that's probably the most stupid thing you've ever done."
Harry smirked down at him, back at his normal state. „Oh that's not even in the top ten."
„You think that's funny? You nearly gave me an heart attack."
„And I'm very very sorry but I really need to talk to you." Harry fidgeted with his fingers, showing the nervousness his voice didn't allow to shine through.
„Speak. I want to go home." be kind to him, his subconscious commanded him.
As if he's ever been anything but kind in his life.

„You didn't show up yesterday." Harry looked so fucking vulnerable like this. His shining eyes sadly looking down at him, shifting from one foot to the other. „I thought we were on a good way to get friends and I'm sorry if I did something to annoy or push you away from me. I swear that it had never been my intention to do so. And I'm..."

„Harry stop." Louis interrupted him. „It's not your fault. You were great and... sweet. Kind of. But I don't think I'm ready to be your friend. We're so different. I don't thing that I have a place in your world."
„I could make you a place. For you to fit in. I could do that... I could... just... my head is spinning every time I see you... I don't.... I don't even know you... at least... at least not as much... as I want to... I..." Harry stuttered. His eyes avoiding Louis'.
„I know Harry, but this doesn't work out for me. We should be colleagues and nothing more. Keep it professional and focused on the album. This is very important for me and I don't want my private life to come between my dreams and ... whatever this is." Louis gave Harry a last friendly look before he turned around and opened his car. „See you tomorrow."

„Bye." Harry whispered behind him and took a step back to give Louis the space to drive away.

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