ONYIYE THAT GIRL

She only wanted to study agriculture and be a better Mom to her son. She only wanted to make her future better. But all of her plans just shattered right in front of her eyes.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be. A quote she once heard.
She lays flat awake at night aching for rest and relief from her racing mind.
One day running straight into the next, and the next, and the next. An endless horror-film loop. That’s how she could describe her life growing up.
She feels lost.
And alone.
It wasn’t a new feeling. She had felt that way for years.
She lies awake and wonder why she didn’t feel better, wish she could feel like everyone else seemed to—content, confident, happy. Why wasn’t that her life?

The harder she fights the way she's feeling, the harder it is to feel that way. The more she lets it be there, the easier it gets to feel that way. The feeling no longer feels scary, or like something she needs to try to avoid.

STHEMBISO JIYANE

"Sthembiso Maan, if you know what's best for you…."
"Mah, I'm coming!" He hisses getting off the bed cursing under his smelly morning breath. 
The sun is burning his skin so painfully - he runs back to the house to wear his t-shirt and his hat. He has a two bedroom outside the main house.
Now his body is itchy - scratching will follow then blisters and redness will pop up.
"Here take. Go to the shops and by me this." His mother hands him the piece of paper filed with groceries. 
"It's hot, can't I go this afternoon?" Maybe he will pull that card on her. 
"Now Sthembiso!" She raws. What do they say about Black Parents!
His mouth is forever cursing - "ay, ay, ay," he is stomping his feet like a five year old.
"A 25 years old - what a disgrace." His mother add before turning to leave. She knows her son, he is forever complaining and that doesn’t bug her any longer.
He fixes his hat and sighs stepping out of the yard. His father has forbidden him from using his cars.

The old man doesn't understand that he was drunk, damn he even got laid that night. He was invited to a matric dance that turned out to be his personal matric dance. 
Driving back home made him loose all of his senses, he found himself crashing someone's car. Whenever he thinks of that night he find himself smiling. 
She was way too tight and very sweet. 
Her pussy tasted like strawberry sweet aid. He would steal pictures of her without her noticing. His gallery is full of those moments.
His smiling looking at his feet counting his steps. He wishes he could spend just one more night with her. Her very dark soft skin…. He has been eyeing her since he spotted his yes on her that night. It's a pity because that was the first and last day since he saw her.
Her moans filling his ears under those blasting speakers spitting music. 
He could still hear her voice, tiny. He took someone's purity! He needs to be rectified to receive this. 

A honk makes him to freeze and stands still. He tilts his head finding himself in the middle of the road. How did he get here? 
His heart pounding looking at the cars passing him - some swearing.
"What the fuck man! Watch wear you going you pussy!" 
If this man is referring to the pussy his imagining - than by all means he is delighted to be compared with it. 
"Her pussy was sweet." He shouts back sticking his middle finger out. 
The driver steps out of his car marching towards him. "Ow shit!" Izinduku zesinukha are out of sight. 
Imagine a skinny guy running for his life.

Sthembiso is hardly seen in the road. He is forever at home if he is not at work.
Finally he is in town, he doesn't like crowded places. He enjoys being alone and talking to himself.

People always look at him in the most weirdest way and it doesn't bother him any longer. His reddish hair is neatly cut. What is a man without a fade. 
"Sthembiso!" He knows that voice. And it annoys him to the core! 
He composes himself and turns to look at her. Her stomach is so fucken huge! 
"Mazet!" 
"Are you still denying this pregnancy?" 
"How am unsure that the baby is mine since you slept with my brother Dumisani?" 
"We didn't sleep together! We only kissed!" MaZet half shouts attracting eyes. "You know what you are useless. I don't even know what I saw in you because you cannot even perform in bed. Iyafhathuza nje."
"Say's someone who has a hole for the whole Eshowe to share!" Sthembiso spits back. 
MaZet gasps in shock as her lips trembled. "You bastard!" 
He sees stars after that handful smack on his right cheek. Silly pervert scenes- He saw her Juggling Assets and all during her effort to slap. But that was a short pain and insult.