Greyhound Bound for Nowhere

Try to heal my wounded pride

The first thing that crossed my mind as we sat there was that it wasn't raining outside. It had been raining since we left the station, and yet as we sat on the side of the road the sun was shining brightly down on the pavement. Once the driver got everyone settled down he radioed for help. Then we were told to get ready to walk. We both sighed, annoyed at the delay, as we filed into a line and got off the bus.

I bit my lip, waiting near the back of the crowd for my bag. Bellamy stayed beside me.

He coughed, "let me take your bag for you," Bellamy held his hand out waiting for me to hand him my duffel bag. For some reason his niceness was making me mad.

I looked at him hard, "I am perfectly capable of carrying it myself thank you."

I'm not unable to fend for myself, as hard as that is to believe. I didn't need Finn to help me escape, I didn't need Bellamy to carry my bags. I didn't need anyone I was perfectly find trying to pick up my own pieces. I threw the strap over my shoulder as he grabbed his bag.

"Sorry for being a gentleman," he shot me a look and grabbed his own bag.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed at everything except him. But he was here in front of me, so I was taking it out on him. I was angry Finn called me, angry that I told him the truth. I was worried about going home, about Octavia telling my mom. I just didn't want to deal with any of that right now.

"You? A gentleman?" My voice dripped with sarcasm. I couldn't pretend to be friends anymore, not right now. I was hungry and tired and annoyed. I wanted a shower.

For the first time since it all happened, I wanted to be home.

Bellamy stared at me as we started to walk behind the rest of them, "who peed in your Cheerios?"

I glared at him, "I'm not as helpless as everyone thinks okay?"

He mumbled something I couldn't hear and then faced forward, away from me. I knew I should apologize, but for some reason I couldn't let the words fall from my mouth. I was annoyed that the bus was going to be late now getting to the station. We had no idea when they would send us a replacement bus, we had no idea how long we would be staying in this motel they were putting us in.

I was so close to home, so close to Octavia and the new life I wanted to start. And yet it all seemed so far out of my reach.

My stomach grumbled, "you're seriously hungry? After all that junk food you ate on the bus?"

Bellamy looked amazed, but sounded angry, "I'm a growing girl," I pushed my blonde hair over my shoulder, making him laugh again. I liked the sound of his laugh. I liked that I could make him laugh without really trying.

What was I doing here in the middle of nowhere with my best friend's brother? I felt more confused than I had before I left home to follow Finn. I closed my eyes, feeling a surge of deja vu. Once upon a time I thought I would escape that town with someone, in those fantasies it was usually Bellamy that turned into this sweet boy who charmed me into running away with me. Of course that's all it was, a fantasy.

"When we were sixteen and you didn't call Octavia for her birthday she got angry," I opened my eyes and saw Bellamy go stiff as I started talking, "she got so angry she came to my house and we raided my parents liquor cabinet. We got wasted for the first time together, celebrating her and me and everything we could think of. God it feels like it was so long ago."

"Why are you telling me this?"

I shrugged, "we were so drunk and I had to cut your sister off after a while. After I put the bottles back, Octavia decided she wanted to find you. She pulled out these papers she had found that belonged to your mom. She said that you were somewhere out there and you were hurting and she just wanted you to come home. We made this big plan to break you out," I saw him smile as I sighed, "then we woke up and realized we were two sixteen year olds who had no say in where or why you were sent away."