ʟᴏᴠᴇ- ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴜʀᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ | ✓

~ f i f t y n i n e ~

And as she closed her eyes, her mind was fast enough to replay the night of her helplessness. And her breaths turned heavy and tears started flowing out of her eyes.

Sniffed.

Cried.

Screamed.

Silence.

.
.

They say that happiness will find you, But she think sadness finds you too, sneaking up on you in the darkness. Waiting for you to think that you've made it through and then-- and then it open holes in what was a solid ground.

Now, look at her.

Till few days ago, she had hands on her head, to bless her, to protect her.

Till yesterday, she had a roof on her head, to make her feel warm in this cold world.

Today?

Today she had nothing on her head. Neither the hands, not the roof.

Why?

Because she was a disgrace for them.

And now a burden which they chose not to carry.

Bare foot, soaked in the heavy rain, lost deep in nothingness, her silhouette walked in the darkness of the road. Still it was difficult to tell that the dark was outside or inside her.

Stumbling on the rock, she fell down, bringing her out of her nothingness. She looked at her foot and saw her toe was bleeding, while rain was still pouring.

Suddenly she got aware of the stranded road. She gasped as she found her in between of nowhere. She looked around herself in fear and saw no-one. She wasn't sure it was a relief or a bad thing. Pushing herself back she found the shelter under a huge tree.

She hugged herself as she felt the cold breeze. Shivering she hugged her knees to her chest and rounded her hands around.

Her eyes roamed here and there again and the fear started consuming her. She was shaking very badly, looking all around her in fear.

Her eyes welled up as she saw the blood on her wounded toe and sore feet getting washed away with the rain. It was paining her, and she wasn't sure exactly where. And finally the tears flowed out of her eyes.

Sniffed.

Cried.

Silence.

.
.

She was right. Sadness find you too, waiting for you in the darkness and then cleverly pulling you down in the open ground, the kind you never know are there. She can't remember when it started and she definitely doesn't know when it ends.

Maybe today.

Maybe tomorrow.

Or Maybe never.

She doesn't know.

Or maybe she does.

As she looked at the knife in her hand. Maybe she could end it all at once. She can end those non stop panic attacks, the state of helplessness, the tears, the pain, the fear, the nightmare. Just the flick of knife, and it will be over.