Falling for a Maximoff

Chapter 33: Back home

She spoke softly to me and my inner thoughts recognized her voice and she became more clear again. With each sentence she spoke, my own thoughts got stronger, pushing the others away.
But suddenly a wave of foreign thoughts hit me and I lost control over my body again. Not realizing what I was doing, I pulled the gun out of my thigh holder and pointed it at her.
I see her face before me again, how scared she was that I would shoot her and if I'm being honest, I don't know if I would have.

But then my eyes focused on the gun in my hand and panic washed over me, the same as always when I held a gun and I let it fall to the ground. Wanda spoke again and this time I fully saw her. Our eyes locked and as if my body was trained for it, it relaxed when I looked into her green eyes. They gave me a feeling of safety. After that I only remember falling asleep. And now I'm here, so I guess I'm back?

Now remembering everything, the same pictures play in my head over and over again: me pointing a gun at Wanda, almost ready to shoot her. Her eyes filled with slight fear and my heart clenches as I remember her expression. I scared her, I pointed a gun at her, I'm a monster.

My breath starts to quicken and my body starts to shake. I am so caught up in my head that I almost don't notice that I pressed the emergency button on my bed.
Seconds later the door opens and I see mom running inside and coming to my bed. She notices my state and carefully cups my cheeks, worry in her eyes.
"Y/n, can you hear me?" She asks and I nod, still shaking as my thoughts begin to spiral.
"Good, can you breathe with me?" She inhales slowly, holds her breath and lets it slowly out. The next time I join her and we breathe together for a few minutes until I calm down and my body stops to shake.

Mom brushes some hair out of my face and kisses my forehead before pulling me into a hug. It feels incredibly good to hug her and my body relaxes even more. When she pulls away, she sits next to me on the bed and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?" She asks, still a bit concerned.
"Yeah, I just...I need to talk to Wanda." I say while my fingers start to fiddle with each other. Mom seems a little unpleased with my answer and I remember that she doesn't actually like Wanda but right now I don't care, I need to talk to her.

Surprisingly, mom gets up, squeezes my hand and heads out of the room. Only seconds later Wanda enters and smiles shyly at me. It feels a little surreal to see her again, fully conscious now but it's also good. She pulls the chair up to my bed to sit next to me. I watch her, nervous about what to say, fingers fiddling even more.

"I'm sorry, I...didn't mean to point a gun at you. It wasn't me who did it, well it was but not really. They did something with my head and I lost control over the actions of my body and I didn't want to threaten you and I didn't want to shoot. When I realized, I got scared and dropped the gun...I am so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you and point a gun at you." I ramble, feeling my throat closing a little and tears forming in my eyes.

"It's okay, I'm alright and nothing happened." Wanda assures me, searching for my eyes.
"No, it's not. I really like you and after the great times we spent together, I should have recognized you, but I couldn't. My brain was kind of clouded and I couldn't fight whatever was controlling my actions. But still, I never should have pointed a gun at you. I'm a terrible person, a monster." I sob, tears now streaming down my face as I try to explain my position but it feels like a weak and dumb explanation.
Who would believe that? My eyes focused on the fingers in my lap that fiddle quickly, scared of Wanda's reaction.

"It is and I know you didn't mean to." Wanda softly says, taking my hands in hers to stop my fidgeting and rubbing the back of my hands with her thumbs. My eyes still on my hands.
"Can you look at me, please?" She asks and I shyly look up into her eyes. They are soft and not hostile in any way, which gives me a little bit of hope that she won't hate me.

"Do you remember how you told me that one bad action doesn't define you?" She asks again and I nod, remembering that night.
"See, and even if you did something bad, it doesn't make you a monster or a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes, it's normal. And you weren't even fully aware of what you did so I don't think that it's really something you did. In some way you were forced to and didn't have a chance to do anything against it. And you also didn't really do anything bad. Yes, you pointed a gun at me but as soon as you realized, you dropped the gun and I know you wouldn't have shot me." She states and squeezes my hands slightly in anticipation. I swallow thickly.

"I honestly don't know if I would have shot you." I confess in a whisper and feel new tears running down my face. "And I still was a monster, who pointed a gun at their friend...I would understand if you didn't trust me anymore." I bite the inside of my cheek and look back down on our intertwined hands, ignoring the tears.

"First of all, you're not a monster, please don't say or think that about you and second, you wouldn't have shot me. I know that and I still trust you with everything I have. Let me proof it to you." She assures me and lets my hand go to lift hers up to my face.

With a gentle gesture, she lifts my chin up so I look at her and she searches my eyes for a second before she closes the gap between us. I feel her soft, warm lips on mine and taste my own tears in the kiss. It's a soft kiss and our lips move together slowly, in an already known rhythm and she doesn't pull away when I lift my hand to place it on her cheek to pull her a little closer.

When we pull away for air, she leans her forehead against mine and locks her gaze with mine.
"See, nothing to worry about." She whispers into the small space between us.

A/n: Back to our pov. Just out of curiousity: which pov do you like the most?
Thanks for reading and love to you all <3