𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒔 - m.h

// s p e c i a l //

i gently took her wrist and began to drag her out the area to somewhere i can have her all alone, i missed her. my walk was a little wobbly, nearly causing us to trip down the floor but thank god olivia held me, my arms were around her shoulder as hers were tightly wrapped around my waist. i look over at her to see liv already looking at my face, well, lips may i say. i removed my arms around her neck and grabbed her by the waist, leading her a place nearby that we can go alone and have privacy.

it was a room at the back of the pub filled with unused stufd which i assume is the storage room. i hastily made my way inside and pinned olivia on the wall, and began to dominate her lips with my own, its been yearning to touch hers and i won't waste this chance anymore. she was fighting back, her arms even made its way around my neck and pulled me closer to her, my chest immediately feeling hers. it was definitely turning me on, my hands went behind her and gently guided her to sit on the little table on the corner of the room.

"i've been dying to see and feel you again..." i mumbled in between our shared kiss, "it's been four years darling."

my waist in between her thighs, i can feel the heat as she pulled herself closer to me. we didn't stop kissing as i slowly lifted her shirt up, removing it, then i felt like i needed to grab some air so i pulled away. then suddenly, olivia was gone, instead it was another woman, "why'd you stop?" she seemed baffled, like i was, i am not mistaken right? it was olivia who i was kissing just now but why is there another woman here? with me?

"i-im sorr—" i ran outside, leaving her behind the small room. it can't be, i swear i saw olivia, i held her—i was with her. "fuck" i crouched down and grasped on my hair, was i going mad? i might need a coffee to freshen up my mind and somehow lessen the effect of that hard drink on me, i'm totally mad. i entered a convenience store nearby, there were a couple of people, like four. entering this place gives me the feeling of nostalgia, i'm expecting to see olivia standing behind the counter, waiting for
me to come just like she always do.

i grabbed an instant coffee and paid for it, "thank you sir, here's your change" he gave me a warm smile, which i returned back. i sat on a vacant table and started to lazily stirred my coffee and watched as the steam of it danced in the air, then took a little sip out the brown liquid. it calmed my nerves, it woke up my whirling brain, this was what i needed—a drop of caffeine in my system, i was about to go mental a while ago.

then i felt a weight on top of the table, i tilted my head up to see who it was—fuck's sake i'm totally going crazy, all i could see was olivia, standing here beside me, even looking at me straight in the eyes. "hello?" a muffled female's voice said, then i snapped out of my reverie, it was not olivia—of course it's not her, it won't happen. "y-yeah?" i fixed my posture and wiped the side of my lips because the coffee almost made its way out of my mouth when i was taking a sip out of the cup. "are you okay? you look...tensed, you're like just staring into space." she asked with her soft and caring voice, it almost sounded identical to liv's, i stayed quiet for a moment before responding.

"yeah...im alright. thanks for the concern." i gazed away and felt her slowly walk away from where i was. then i looked over the table across mine, caught the two people sitting there staring at me and even heard them giggled before looking away when i looked over at them. what are they even laughing at? i'm not even wearing a clown costume or something, ugh, fuckers.

[Note: If you'd like to listen to About You while reading this to get the feels, start playing the song while reading the next parts below this note.]

after 30 minutes of being inside that convenience store, i decided to finally go back home. my feet started its journey towards the dark alleyway that serves as my shortcut to home, walking here brings so much memories—one of them was when i finally had an almost decent encounter with her, she was here looking like a lost sheep that can't find her way back, she looked like a total mess that night. and i wanted to help her, glad that i did.

for once, i had made the right choice and that is to help her. if i didn't, she's still gonna be under his shitty father's watch. that one choice led me to a beautiful experience, every seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months that i spent with her was beautiful yet bittersweet and of course, it was because of me. she did not deserve to be hurt, she already experienced a lot of that.

my reminiscing halted when i reached the door to my trailer where i am living in right now. i live here alone, george and ross moved away after coming out of jail and broke all contacts with me, i understand why it happened and to be honest...if i was them, i would do that too. i threw the keys on my bedside table and immediately launched myself in bed, my eyes slowly shutting down and all i know was the darkness was taking over me.

"you still look beautiful just like the last time i saw you" i smiled while looking at her smiling face, the picture of her in beside her grave.

the wind started to sway, the leaves on the trees slowly going with the flow of the cold air. i sat beside olivia's tombstone, as i gently placed a small bouquet of flowers i had picked up from a flower shop earlier, "hello my sweet darling, i've missed you...a lot." my fingers brushing against the tombstone tenderly, i smiled as i started to miss her again. "what a shame i can't see your gorgeous face, or even kiss it" i let out a small chuckle as i laid down beside her spot, imagining that she was here lying beside me — looking at me with those captivating eyes that i love so much.

it's been four years since we went to jail for armed robbery, and it's also been four years since olivia had passed. the moment the news was delivered to me, i broke, it felt like i just got hit by a bullet through my heart, it was so depressing. i'd faced a lot of regretting and pain through those years i had been stucked inside those bars. the guys were also devastated to hear the news, in result, we got into an argument—they did not know i was gonna do that. they had no idea. and i was stupid for doing that.

the feeling of guilt, and our memories haunted me for the past four years, all i could do was cry and apologize hoping she could hear me somewhere. it hit me, i have loved olivia all along. i was just too scared to be involved and committed, i was afraid of getting hurt, so i hurted her in the process. and i regretted it a lot, if i did not leave her behind that day, she could've been here, sitting beside me while looking right into my eyes with that beautiful orbs of her. reminiscing those moments made me miss her, it was all my fault.

in my sad times and happy ones, she was there.  fear got into me, i was scared i'll hurt her just like i do to people who cares about me. i miss her laughs, her eyes filled with adoration, her every touch, her skin, her everything. i won't be able to bring her back again, "i'm sorry...i tried to come back and get you...b-but you weren't there anymore—and the police got us—i was out of my mind that time.." i started to tear up, and i'll let myself cry this time. "it was not supposed to end like this...i-i know you must've thought that i betrayed you, it's not like that baby...fuck—i'm so sorry" i began to sob as i couldn't hold the pain back anymore, it was too much.

the time flew by so fast, the sun was already setting. it was starting to dim, and that means i have to leave her again—all alone here. i got up from my current position and look at her, "guess i'll see u another day darling, i have to go back home and get some rest." i gave her an endearing smile, "i'd hate to leave you here but i have to go..." i brushed my palm against her tombstone gently as i admired her beaming photo. she looked so gorgeous. i felt the hot liquids forming again, the feeling of longing and yearning for her began to rise once again. "it's getting dark, i got to get going" i fetched my things and was preparing to leave the cemetery.

"we'll meet again, and when that time comes, i'll make sure to make everything right. i won't waste that chance anymore." i mumbled as i let out a heavy and deep sigh that i've been wanting to let out, if i see her once again, i'll love her right, i'll change that things i did wrong when she was still here. i kissed my two fingers and placed it on her tombstone, giving her a kiss then smiled.

"i love you darling, i'll look for you in our next life."