Admiring Love

It's a YES from me

Anjali came running to me shouting excitedly kushi didi

Once she  reached me I lifted her and twirled her making her giggle

You look so happy today? Can I know what made you this happy? I asked her seeing her face fully glowing with happiness

Yes didi I am very happy today. I came first in class just like I promised Arnav bhayya. Arnav bhayya will be very happy na.

Yes your Arnav bhayya will be very happy and also proud and I am proud of you too. Chalo on this special occasion tell me what gift you want? I will try to get it for you.

No didi. It's okay. I don't want to make others sad just by getting something special for me alone. If you want to give me something then please give everyone also the same thing so that everyone will be happy. How about some chocolates  or ice cream for everyone?

She reminded me about Arnav again. This is the thought Arnav instilled in her. He doesn't want to give any special treatment to her making others feel bad for themselves. This is one of the qualities of Arnav which made me fall for him.

Anjali was 6 years when Arnav found her on the road side beside her mother's dead body.  Everyone was just seeing the drama but no one came to help the child who is crying for her mother. It is Arnav who got  the girl to this orphanage and joined her here. He visits her every week and takes care of her. He even enrolled her in a school and bears all the expenses of her.

He never got her anything special other than her school supplies and uniform. He even made Anjali gently understand how by giving special attention to just her alone will make others in the orphanage feel bad. He wanted her to be accepted by everyone here as a friend. He doesn't want her to have anymore problems.

So whatever he do for Anjali he do for everyone like bringing chocolates or some eatables for everyone not just Anjali alone. He even made a charity drive on behalf of his office so that everyone gets new dresses and basic needs. Just like his name he is very deep in his thinking.

The only special thing he did just for Anjali is sending her to private school. Obviously we are not so rich to send everyone to school  paying such hefty amounts. We can afford only for one or two. But even in that he compensated by making Anjali teach the other students whatever she is learning in her school and every weekend he comes here with few of his friends and office colleagues to volunteer here and teach them.

I  came out of my thoughts by Anjali who told me that she is going to the play ground to play before Their beloved Arnav bhayya comes.

I started roaming the orphanage remembering all the sweet memories associated with it. It is her papa who got her to this Ashram for the first time. She remembers the day so nicely.

She was crying so badly the day before because she doesn't have a mother. All her friends in the school and neighborhood are being very much pampered and cared for by both their parents.  Then why she doesn't have a mother? Her father is very loving and caring she doesn't deny that but then she was too young to realize all these things.

So her father got her here next day and gently explained her how these children here doesn't even have their father. They don't have anyone to call their own. They don't even have a nice home like her or someone to get something whatever they desired. But still they are so happy with such big contagious smiles on their faces.

That's the turning point of my life. Then onwards I never felt sad for something which I don't or can't have. I always felt grateful for the things I have in my life. I always remembered these children faces whenever I becomes sad and instantly my mood would become better and cheerful.

That's the primary reason why I never forgets to visit them. On such visit only I  saw Arnav for the first time. His skin was glowing with the sun rays falling on him and with his white shirt he was looking so handsome. It's his outer beauty which attracted me first to him. But later knowing him and his beautiful heart I fell for him so hard.

So I secretly used to watch him as long as he is in the orphanage. I never dared to go infront of him or to introduce myself. I am happy and content just by watching him from far away. I loved how he makes my heart flutter, and I am  happy with the feelings he make me feel.

I just admires him from far and i admires him more for what he is and how he makes me feel so many emotions and feelings which I never realized they existed. I amnot worried about him reciprocating my feelings. This is my love for him and this is the way I admires my love.

This made me remember the proposal of Rohini maa. Marriage that to with her love Arnav. She never thought of all these things. Hell he doesn't even know she loves him. But the problem is Arnav loves someone else but she got married to someone else. So technically I am not breaking them. They already broke up.

But Arnav is not ready to marry anyone. So isn't it like forcing Arnav into this marriage? Ho ho how can I forget? Did maa spoke to Arnav first? Is he okay with this marriage? Why didn't even I ask her? I scolded myself and immediately called maa on her number

Hello Kushi, h..... she was about to say something but I cut her in between

Maa sorry to interrupt you but did you ask Arn...... Arnavji about the marriage? God why I am stuttering to take his name? And what is that Arnavji? I chided myself mentally

WOW Arnavji! Kya baat hai khushi ji maa started teasing me. God where did you put me in and why the hell I am blushing? Stop stop stop I chanted inwardly and with great difficulty I said

Maa I am serious please tell me na, did you speak to him?

I thought of asking him once you say yes Khushi. I want your opinion first. I already told you about his broken heart. So what's the point in informing him and then you say no. Then he will be more heart broken or will show me this an example to avoid future match making attempts of mine.  So I will talk to him once you tell me your opinion.

Just then my sight fell on the poster that is right infront of me

It's better to be tried and lost rather than not trying at all. I redefined the saying

Thinking it as a sign from the god I told maa

You can go ahead and talk to him maa.

Kushi, that means you you, you....... I can hear maa crying on the other side with excitement

Yes maa I am ready to marry your chote. I told teasingly to lighten her mood and added  and I am more than ready to make you my permanent maa

But do you think Arnavji will accept me? Suddenly I felt disappointed

That one you leave it to me ok. Oh my god I am so happy. Okay I am disconnecting the call, I have to prepare the shagun. After talking some more about all the arrangements she has to make she disconnected the call.

My heart still felt very heavy with how Arnav is going to react on this proposal. If he says no, then she will just leave everything here itself. But if he is going to say yes then there is nothing that going to stop me in putting all my efforts to give this marriage and my love a chance.