To Be Loved | Chris Evans Fan Fic

17

1 week later...

"Since when did you have this much fucking stuff?" Mabel whined as she picked up one of the carboard boxes out of the moving van.

"Since always, you just weren't allowed over because of Max being a bitch" I let out a low giggle whilst Mabel cocked her head at me, not quite ready to laugh at my Max jokes right now. It was bad and I don't know why I did it, but joking about the painful situation that I was in was my only coping mechanism whilst the investigation was going on.

We trekked up the stairs to Mabel's apartment as the elevator was broken and had been broken almost the entire time I had known her. "Thank you for letting me stay with you" I said.

"Honestly I think its gonna be so much fun having you as a roomie" Mabel placed the box on the floor by her open apartment door.

"Me too" I smiled.

It took us roughly an hour and a half to bring up all the boxes and arrange them into where they needed to go, most of them were going to have to be put in storage but for the time being they remained dotted around the apartment as a tripping hazard, whilst Mabel and I enjoyed a glass of wine in 'our' apartment. I was eventually going to find myself a new apartment or maybe place a deposit down on a house but I wanted to wait until the investigation was over and Max was locked up, or that's how I hoped it ended up. Plus it was nice not to be alone whilst I heal. It was either moving in with Mabel or Chris, and Alex already had a roomie, but I definitely didn't want to move in with Chris, I felt as if it would just add to all the complications that already existed in my life.

I must of fallen asleep on the sofa as the next time I opened my eyes, it was pitch black. Everything that surrounded me was an ominous abyss. My body felt paralysed, I couldn't feel anything besides the fear that consumed me. I blinked rapidly as the figure of Max holding a knife stalked towards me. Opening my mouth I tried to scream, only for nothing to come out. The corners of his mouth formed into a sinister smile as he tilted his head in a patronising manner. Tears of frustration prickled. As he got closer and closer, the more I became imprisoned in my own body.

"Lily!" A voice screamed. "It's just a dream!" I felt someone vigorously shaking my arm. My eyes shot open once again to see Mabel crouched besides me. Her face ridden with fear. A wave of relief washed over me as the realisation that it was just a dream hit.

"I'm so sorry" I murmured, wrapping my arms around the severely concerned woman.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, this isn't your fault." She pulled away from the hug and placed both hands over my face. "He is going to get what he deserves, whether its by the law or from me and Alex rocking up with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, okay?"

"Okay" I chuckled lightly as a tear rolled down my cheek. "I just feel like this is never going to stop. I just feel like an empty shell of a person that everyone is going to always feel constantly on edge around" I paused, inhaling a deep breath, "I just want to be normal again"

"I'm so sorry that I didn't intervene" I watched as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"There was nothing you could of done without being hurt yourself. Isn't it better that just the one of us is traumatised for the time being" I softly smiled. "I'll heal eventually, it's just gonna take a while." I nodded, desperately trying to reassure myself that it was all going to be okay. It needed to be okay, I just needed to hold the cracks together for a little longer and ill be okay.

~ Heyyy, I'm back but im also gonna say goodbye for a little bit. A levels are not it guys, they are gross 10/10 do not recommend. I should be back to updating regular posts after the 13th June!! Sorry its ages away but oh well it will go quick for me!~