Far From View

I'm so happy

The euphoria washing over, a cleaning of my own soul, a new one. A feeling for once. I'm having a drink with my friends, I'd just been in a hard depression episode and they thought it would be good for me to get out of the house. We stood in the foyer of a mutual friend, who had nothing but time and money, with his big home and all. But what id get to learn is what prolonged solitude does to a man of 40. That all didn't matter though, I was happy here and felt as if life couldn't get better than this! This was my life and I'm proud of it.

It's loud. Piercing my brain as a sharp needle being stung through my eardrum. A dimly lit foyer but still too bright, my head processing as much as a windows XP in the current year. Die die die die. A not so distant voice said in my mind. Not a voice recognizable or audible but one of words translated by my brain into sound of which didn't exactly contain syllables.

I closed my eyes and stood. My balance became the next abuser as a spun in my own mind while being solid in my body. I swayed for a moment before opening my eyes and regaining my stance. No one had even batted an eye, most people that had even noticed, if any, assumed the wine was taking effect. A cold room became a scorching one in the presence of self-awareness that faded in, becoming aware of the numbers of people that surround me as if a picket fence and I, a pig. This delirium I was aware of but couldn't help. My mind was split in two, one of a fading mind and one of a near mid-life man having kids to raise.