Sakura | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

Day 8

A lot happened today. Shouto seemed like he was in a rush the whole day. He was all over the place. I asked him if something was going on, but he insisted that he was fine. He said: "I just don't have enough time to do everything anymore."

Told him that if things got too difficult, he could come to me. He thanked me, and I hugged him. This was during lunch, and we were outside. Then, I felt something warm and wet on my shoulder. I felt soft drops landing on my shoulder and seeping into my uniform. I felt Shouto's chest shake and twitch.

Shouto was crying. I hugged him tighter and moved him into my lap. I told him to let himself feel and release whatever he was feeling instead of suppressing it. He cried for a while, and he got some ugly sobs out. I didn't know what the hell to do, so I just ran my hand through his hair and rubbed his back. Was it embarrassing to be stuck like that in front of other people? Absolutely. But I knew it had to have been at least ten times worse for Shouto.

He muttered some things like "I don't want to yet," "I can't," "not yet," "don't go," and yeah. At one point, he was starting to breathe normally again, and I'm not sure what it was, but something broke him. It kind of felt like he was going to crush me with his arms, but I was just glad he was letting everything out.

After lunch ended and everyone went back to class, we went to the bathroom so he could wash his face. He said he felt better. After he washed his face, he apologized for everything, and he asked if I could step out for a few minutes.

I didn't ask, but after a bit, I heard him throwing up. I felt so fucking bad for him.

When Shouto was done and I heard him tearing off paper towels, I opened the door, and he was standing with his back to me but at an angle. My body froze over with fire. I was paralyzed. I couldn't believe what I'd seen. I felt like my brain had been dipped in the sun. It was so sudden. I never would've expected it.

Shouto was wrapping up his left arm, which was covered in countless cuts and scars. I only got a glimpse of some of his arm, but there were fresh cuts all over his arm. Immediately, he rolled his sleeve down and tucked his arms in, but that single glimpse was all I needed.

I felt like someone rubbed salt all over my guts. Like my heart was filled with hot gas, and it popped and just stopped beating. Like I'd been punched in the stomach. Like my tongue was covered in spoiled milk.

I found out my boyfriend was cutting himself, for fuck's sake.

But I didn't do anything rash, for once in my fucking life. I pretended not to see, and I just asked if he was feeling all right. He looked so relieved. Knew it was kinda cruel, but he'd already been through enough. I'll talk to him about this tomorrow.

He said he wanted a few more minutes to breathe, so I stepped out again and let him finish bandaging his cuts. I felt like a meteor crashed into my skull.

After school, we didn't really talk or do anything. I tried not to think about what happened, but I couldn't shake the image that's burned into my head:

Shouto staring, petrified like a deer in the headlights, in the bathroom with a paper towel over his arm sliced up with cuts and scars.

This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions such as self-harm.