✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

91. The Right Choice

She had said her own magic words, and made herself pee her pants like a little baby. It was her mistake, and this time there was no way she could deny that it was her own fault. She just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear. She already looked like a baby, and now she felt so small as well. It was hard to keep from crying, but then she glanced back at Ffrances and saw that she was getting worried. That wouldn't do at all; Tess needed to make sure the baby was happy, enjoying the special day they had organised for her.

Tess took a deep breath, and swallowed her pride.

"Ooops," she said quietly, putting on as much of a smile as she could. "I didn't mean to do me too. Don't worry, we–"

"Tess?" Gabby barked as she walked in, the door opening suddenly. "Are you okay? You shouted and– Oh."

"I'm sorry," Tess's mind raced, trying to work out what she could say to be less embarrassed. She needed help, that much was clear. But she wanted Gabby to know that she hadn't meant to say that. And she needed Ffrances not to worry about it. "I said the wrong magic words, I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," Gabby said, stroking her hair in a way that helped her to calm down instantly. Maybe it was a bit childish to be reassured by a gentle touch, but Tess was already feeling very little, so she let herself relax. Right now the easiest thing to do was let the grown-up take care of everything. "It's okay, baby. You're only little today, and accidents happen. I think we need to get some clean clothes for you, and clean the carpet up. It's no big deal. Do you want to get changed yourself, or do you need some help?"

Tess blushed, and swung her arms from side to side so she wouldn't have to think about her answer. She wanted to hide in her room, so she wouldn't have to see Gabby until she stopped blushing. But she knew what she had said to Ffrances, and she knew that she would be a little baby just as much. She was so little now, she wouldn't be able to hold it anymore. She didn't want to spoil everything when Ffrances was having so much fun, so she couldn't go back to being a big girl yet. So she would need to wear diapers for the rest of the day. And the thing that made her blush more than anything else; she realised that she didn't know how to put a diaper on herself. She would have to rely on a grown-up, and today that meant asking Gabby for help.

"Ummm..." she started. "I think I got super extra little. I better have diapers. Just in case."

"Okay. And I'm so proud of you for thinking about that. You're such a smart girl, aren't you? Can you go put your wet clothes in the hamper for washing? I think you can do that by yourself, can't you? I'll be up in a minute if you need any help."

"Okay!" Tess picked up her pacifier, and darted upstairs to her room. She was really embarrassed and the blushes made her face feel really hot, but she was happy that she could kind of tidy up herself. Everything felt better if there was still something she was in charge of. She took off all her soggy clothes and put them in the bag for washing, just like Gabby had said. And when she finished that, she felt like she was such a good girl; being able to do things by herself. She kind of knew it was silly, and that doing baby things had made her feel littler, but she could laugh at how much it changed her. She really liked finding out how much her thinking had changed, and if she thought about that instead of the accident then she didn't feel so bad.

A few minutes later, when she heard Gabby coming upstairs, she thought she had done everything that she could do. She had wiped all the pee off her legs with a towel, and put that in the bag for washing as well. She had made sure she was all dry, and taken off all the wet clothes. And she had lifted a diaper out of the drawer, and put it with a tub of baby powder and some other stuff she didn't really know about on the changing table. She would still need a grown-up to change her, but that wasn't such a big deal now. It was only for today, it was only because she said the wrong thing and got super little, and she'd still been able to help. It didn't hurt so much when she was doing what she could.

Gabby praised her again, and Tess was beaming with delight. She knew she shouldn't be so excited, and she should still be embarrassed, but she didn't really want to. She had to do this, so she might as well enjoy it. And it was really fun to see if she could catch any of her thoughts as they were flying away. She liked being able to see how much littler she was getting, and feel her brain changing as her cousin treated her like a real baby. There was no need to fight it today.

It hardly took any time at all. Tess sat up, wearing a real diaper for the first time she could actually remember, and laughed at how soft it felt. It was so much thicker than the nighttime ones that she'd been wearing, but she could understand that. Those were for big girls who wanted to feel like they were grown-up; and these ones were for people who wanted to feel like a baby again. She'd known it would be thick, but she hadn't thought it would be so soft and comfy. She was smiling now, letting all the worries slip away. She felt like a baby because she was dressed like a baby, and because she'd acted like a baby. And that meant it was so easy to think like a baby as well, and let the embarrassment wash away whenever Gabby talked down to her. She might not want to be a baby, but if she just went along with it then it couldn't make her feel bad.

"Now, I have to ask," Gabby said, as she went through the closet and picked out some clean clothes for Tess. "You said you said the wrong words. Were you trying to make Ffrances wet?"

"Yes." Tess didn't like admitting it, and her voice was so quiet that she didn't know if Gabby would hear her. It was an embarrassing thing to say, but she knew she had to tell the truth. "She asked for it."

"Do you really think I'd believe something like that, Tess? Maybe you got carried away, but making excuses is very naughty. You remember what Ffrances said when I tried to do something like that, don't you?"

Tess nodded as soon as her head popped out through the neck hole of the dress Gabby was putting on her, and now she was blushing even more. It wasn't fair for her to get punished, but she didn't want to spoil today. She wanted Gabby to do the things she enjoyed, and she wanted Ffrances to have fun being a baby. And really, when she thought about it, Gabby couldn't do anything that would really upset her. Whatever she said, Tess knew that right now if she let herself she would be too little to worry.

"Well then, I think it's fair to feel the same. You have to have an accident like a baby the next time you need to go. Just like you did to Ffrances. Is that okay?"

Tess had never imagined that she would ever accept someone saying those words. She'd thought that trigger was a thing that was only for if she was asking for the other one too much. But now it wouldn't make any difference; she'd already told herself that she couldn't hold it. So Gabby's words would only help her to feel smaller, and maybe find a place in her headspace where she didn't need to blush about it so much. And maybe, though she wasn't sure about that part, wetting herself because Gabby had made her might be less embarrassing than having caused it herself.

"Okay," she said with a half shrug. "Is Ffrances having fun? We should check on her. And open more presents." And without thinking any more about what had happened, she was skipping back downstairs. The lure of the presents was too strong to get upset now, and Gabby followed with a smile.