Chapter 9: The Lecture

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Dazai had just awoken from being unconscious as the result of an attempted drowning, and he saw Kunikida...holding his hand? Was that intentional? Was Kunikida aware of what he was currently doing? "Kunikida...?"

(A/N: yes, it's intentional, Dazai, you oblivious being)

Dazai was cut off when Kunikida threw his arms around him.

I feel like I should be concerned. Does Kunikida have amnesia again? Dazai wondered. He considered actually voicing the question but decided against it in the end. He didn't want to ruin the moment.

After a good ten minutes, Kunikida still hadn't let go. Truth is, he never wanted to. He was now even more worried that the next time he let Dazai out of his sight, the mischief-maker would try to die again. It was exactly that sort of thing (and everything about Dazai, if Kunikida was being honest) that made him never want to leave Dazai's side. He felt that he owed it to Dazai as his partner to protect him in any way he could.

Dazai was even more confused by Kunikida's behavior at this point, albeit glad. It really was nice to have Kunikida not be mad at him. But then there was the worry that Yosano might walk in and see them. She'd never let either of them live this down. For now, though, they appeared to be in the clear.

"Kunikida...what happened?" Dazai asked.

Kunikida finally let go of Dazai and looked him right in the eye. His expression was serious but also somewhat unreadable, in other words, the one he usually possessed.

"Kunikida...?" Dazai repeated, beginning to feel intimidated by Kunikida's silence.

Kunikida did have a very good reason for his lack of responses though, for he was internally struggling with whether or not to give Dazai a lecture. Part of him was against the idea of doing so, but then again, he wanted nothing more than to lay into Dazai about his broken promise. He was right back to feeling conflicted. Dazai had once again ruined Kunikida's perfect schedule, but even more importantly, he had tried to die again, much to Kunikida's dismay.

"Kunikida, you're starting to scare me...please say something," Dazai begged.

But Kunikida said nothing, for he was still hesitating to give the lecture but also felt like it was necessary.

"Kunikida, please..." Dazai pleaded.

Kunikida sighed. "Fine. Let's just say I noticed you were missing from work again so I go looking for you only to find out you were trying to drown yourself AGAIN."

"Ohh yeah, that," Dazai remembered.

Kunikida gazed at him solemnly, wondering how he could just think of something like that so casually.

Dazai stared back at Kunikida. "Everything ok?"

"No, it isn't. You're a traitor! A dirty, lying, rotten traitor, Osamu Dazai!" Yosano announced before Kunikida could reply.

Well, I personally wouldn't have put it that way, but ok, Kunikida thought.

"Oh hi, doc! Uh...how?" Dazai wanted to know.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know, king of laziness?" Yosano replied.

"Actually yeah, I would," Dazai said.

Kunikida still hadn't stopped staring at Dazai, not saying a word.

"Well if you're so curious, why don't you ask your boyfriend?" Yosano suggested.

"Yosano!" Dazai and Kunikida exclaimed in unison, morphing into human tomatoes again.

Yosano smirked, well aware of what she had just done. "Welp, bye." She then left.

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