If Only You Knew

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

She frowned as she walked to me and put a hand on my shoulder. My mother on the other hand, burst out crying as she leaned and hugged me tightly. "Oh, my baby... What do I do?" She continued crying while Dr. Serene moved to her side and patted her shoulder. And what about me you ask? Well, I was too dumbfounded and tongue-tied to even react. Only three words ran through my head as I just stayed frozen on spot.

Just two years. Just two years...

"I know it's not the best time, but when do you want to get fully admitted Faye? If it's okay with you, I could help you with the papers even today. I know it's hard but you really need to get admitted as soon as possible." Dr. Serene's words bring me back from my frozen state.

"No! Not today. Please! I... I have somethings I have to do before that. Please, give me a few days. Just 3 more days and I'll be here on Tuesday. Until then, I'll come to the hospital every day for checkup if you want me to." I begged her. It seemed like I have already made my decision on what to do before I realized it.

"Okay. But you said it yourself, so you are to come for checkup on Monday evening." She sighed and I nodded in response. "Okay then. I'll sign your discharge papers for now. But remember to come for the checkup. And make sure to get plenty of rest and sleep. And don't do any activities that could be hard on your heart. I'll prescribe some medicine for you to take while you are away." After that, she looked at my mother who was still crying while hugging me, and walked out of the room.

"Mama, please stop crying. If you keep crying like this, I'll also end up crying. And I don't want to cry." I stated as my eyes started getting teary.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could go through this in your place." She said as she let me go and cupped my face instead.

"Don't say that! I can't live if anything happens to you!" I exclaimed as I wiped her tears away.

"Then how am I supposed to live if something happens to you. I already lost your papa. I can't lose you too." She started crying again.

"I'm going be okay, mama. I'm going to get treatment and hopefully get a new heart soon and get better. I'm not leaving you. I'll be strong and I'll do my best to get better. So please don't cry, and stay strong for me so we can overcome this." When she heard my words, she immediately stopped crying and smiled a little with a proud look on her face.

"You are so strong, sweetie. So strong. And I will be strong too. I will be by your side while you overcome this. Don't ever give up. I love you so much." She said while stroking my hair with her fingers.

"I love you too, mama."

"But sweetie? Why do you want to wait till Tuesday before getting fully admitted? You are not thinking of going back to classes again, are you? I don't want you to attend them. If you really want to continue your studies, I can get your lecturers to take the classes online for you so you could still keep studying while you are here." She asked with concern.

"Mama, it's just a few days. And I really need to be out of here, if I want to leave everything behind." I replied. I already knew what I had to do before I have to get admitted.

"What do you mean? Are you really not gonna tell your friends?" My mother took my hands in hers and furrowed her eyebrows.

"I can't let them know. I won't let them know. I really don't want them to go through the pain we both are going through. So instead, I'm going to leave everything behind. I'm going to leave Kegan so that he can move on from me and I'm also going to leave my friends. We have only been together for a couple of months. I'm sure they can just move on and forget about me if I disappear. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to tell them I'm moving to another university abroad in a week. I'm just going to disappear from their lives." I said as sadness overwhelmed me from the inside. But that was the only way. I just wanted them to move on with their lives and forget about me. If the worst-case scenario where I die happens, it won't hurt them as much if I wasn't involved in their lives anymore. But I just hoped it would never come to that and that one day I'd get all better and could go back to them and apologize for not telling them the truth.