The Flash | Under Fire | Volume 1 | I never said that I want this

Central City, 2014

Blood... I looked at all that blood on my hands, terrified, and angry. It wasn't only mine. My gaze then went to my bloody abdomen, but there was any wound, well... Not anymore. I was alive. However, the person right next to me weren't... All that pain I felt at this moment was so strong... I needed to scream, to shout... To cry. My hands were shaking, some tears fell off of my eyes, I was alive, but I wished I die too.

"Wake up, Alex.. Wake up!" Sean yelled at me in the middle of the night, terrified. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath as I straighten up. I looked at him, as scared as him, a tear falling from my eye. "Another nightmare?" I nodded before he took me in his arms. His body was so warm and soothing as I tried to take my breathing back to normal. "Alex... You really need to talk to someone. Something happened and you need to deal with it before it gets worse..."

"I can't..."

He released me to stare at me with a frown. "Then talk to me. Alex, I can help you, I want to help you, but you need to talk to me first. You have nightmares everynight since you came back few weeks ago. You're always acting cold with everyone who tries to be nice to you, even to Joe... Whatever happened... Just let me help you."

"You can't help me, Sean... Not now.. I just need some time... I'll tell you when I'm ready..."

He nodded and sighed slightly.

"You should go back to sleep... Tomorrow will surely be a long day..." I said before lying down too, hoping for these nightmares... Well, memories, will let me get some sleep too.

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Barry was finally awake after a nine months coma and I felt relieved, it was some light in all those darkness. After being hit by the particle accelerator explosion, everything changed, I changed... But no one knew that except May... And Barry... Barry was gone for those long nine months, asleep, nobody knew if he could wake up one day. That man, he was my best friend, Sean's best friend, our lovely coworker at CCPD, always kind, always smiling. Just like Sean, he helped me to have a new vision of the world, a new life where I could be happy and feel normal again. But the past...The past always haunts us one day or another.

And this is how I got inside of STAR Labs, facing that kind man who was wearing that strange suit, a red suit with a lightning bolt symbol.

"Barry?" He was just as surprised as me, one second, looking at the two other persons in the room and the other second, staring at me, didn't know what to say, what to do.

"Alex?"

"Cisco, Caitlin..."

The voice of this man, Cisco, sounded ironic while Caitlin gave him an icy look, and in that short moment, we could almost heard him apologize about that terrible joke.

"Detective Winslow!"

And that voice... That voice squeezed my heart. I looked at that another man, he was in a weelchair, clearly surprised but not as much as Barry, no, he was smiling.

"Dr. Wells..?"

Barry was finally shocked while looking the both of us, surely asking himself a lot of questions.

"You two know each other?"

"Yes, well... I met Detective Winslow at CCPD long before the particle acceleretor exploded, I had an.. Issue with my car and she helped me with it. But what a good surprise to see her here, today, at STAR Labs."

As he explained that short story, I was lost in my mind, some flashbacks showed up, terrible flashbacks... With him... In his house.. Or more exactly in his be...