It Takes everything for me to say three little words to you

Lisa's Point of View

I placed my hand on top of my stomach. I remember the day I took that test so clear.

"I can't be V, there's no way I am" I looked at her with a serious look on my face. If I was pregnant how would he react to me? would he leave her and support me and the baby? All these thoughts raced through my head as I reached for the test in the store.

"He'll support you. You know Jimmy" Sadly I did not believe her, I knew he had been cheating. And what made it worse is that we where just married a year ago.

I set my bag down on the bathroom counter. I wasn't prepared for the outcome of this but I had to know the answer.

One minute

Two minutes

The box said to wait five minutes for it to be completely accurate

Another minute went by, making it now three minutes

Four minutes.

I began to get anxious. I turned the test over, read the directions in lighting speed. Since it was a digital test It would tell me Regnant for Not pregnant.

I shut my eyes not wanting to see the results. I opened them slowly, there in front me was the test. In plain back letters it read Pregnant.My heart began to sink to the floor. I would not let the tears flow because this is supposed to be a happy time. But in my case it was the complete opposite

I felt the room stop and for a second my breathing had stopped all together. Jimmy would not ever take notice of this joyous occasion because I would never allow it to happen. How can it be his anyway? It cannot be possible can it. As i sat and began to think about the past few weeks somehow it was possible that it was his.

I dialed a number. health clinic. I need the morning after pill. I looked on the table and the divorce papers where signed

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Everything about those months made me think if I had made the correct decision. If I should have kept it and now, my baby would be two years old. Happy and smiling and loved by both parents and the rest of the band

But now that I had made my decision I am in the position I am not. I wonder if he knew that I was pregnant. I guess not. Nothing ever came up. He wasn't there those days when I found out and took the medicine to stop the pregnancy. No one knew except me and the unborn embryo that was inside me. Now that I think of it, I killed a life. And I should be locked away from the world because of it. But shouldn't he too? For cheating and lying and divorcing me. I guess not. Men can do what they want. But women, it's a different world for us. Something he will never know. Nor will he understand

I always see Jimmy. He always looks so sad. But why? what can be the cause of that. I knew he didn't care for me. I still ask myself if i had made the right decision because that was my child. Maybe it would have brought Jimmy and I back together.

(Jimmy's P.O.V)

I watched her as she sat deep in thought. She didn't realize I was siting there in the Conner of the shop. I wondered what went though her mind. I wondered what she thought about day by day. Zack wasn't here. Which I guess was good enough for me

My memory began to fade into the old times. I saw her hand on her stomach. I remember the preganacy test in the bathroom pail that day. Positive. She never knew that I had known she was pregnant. I never wanted to say anything because bringing a baby into this world would not help us as a couple. In my eyes she made the right choice, she did what was best for herself, and the baby.

I wish I had known all of this and not made the choices I had. Then we would have been a real family and maybe that baby would be here right now. I would be it's father and would raid it the right way. I wish she could see all the things that went throught my mind since high school. I still only have eyes for Lisa.

I have to talk to her, No matter what. Maybe things can be repaired, And maybe she still has some feelings for me as I do for her. Maybe I can turn three years around, It's worht a shot in the dark