I put my hands on my face as if to cover the horrid complextion and humiliation. I groaned loudly. What..... The hell.... Is wrong..... WITH ME! I SLAMMED THE DOOR IN HIS FACE WHILE SAYING "NO ONE MUST KNOW" LIKE I WAS BEING ALL MYSTICAL AND STUPID! I stumbled to the steps. My wet, ugly hair was sticking to my wet back. My mom called out and said something about welcoming back or something. I groaned in response. I went upstairs to the bath room and peeled off my wet clothes.
The water was warm, it washed off all the blatant insanity written on my face. Why. Why was I born? Why do I exist? Why does life seem to hate me? So many qualities that I have are absolutely useless. I'm useless. I am just a useless, clumsy, dumb person who just takes up space. Maybe... Maybe it would be better if I wasn't here anymore. I should just skip the miserable rest of my life and go straight to the end.
At that point in my existential thoughts, I was scared. I had never considered suicide before. I quickly put my hand on the metal shower-turn-off-thingy-majigger and stood there, wet and naked for a second. I'd rather not be alone with the dark side of my thoughts any longer.
I dried off and slipped into some comfy pajamas. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall for a few seconds. I thought about what would happen if I killed myself.
I didn't want to think about it anymore. I started to bawl my eyes out. I don't want to die. Nobody needs me to die. Damn, this took a turn for the worst.
*******
On my way to school I was greeted by no one except for a dog that was eager to either lick my face or tear off my skirt. (By accident if course). Just face it. Dogs are pervs. What? No! That doesn't make any sense at all. I started walking faster.
When I finally arrived at the school I was greeted, once again, by no one. I went straight to the back wall. I scanned the area after putting my back on the wall. After a few minutes of this, I thought to myself, what are you doing? Who in this entire school could you possibly be scanning for? I mean, you don't even- BOOM! HER GLASSES ON THE FLOOR! SHE IS ALSO ON THE FLOOR! HER OPPONENT, THE GIGGLY GIRL WITH THE WAY TOO SHORT SHORT SHORTS, HAS KNOCKED HER DOWN! There I lay, on the ground, blind, in a daze. As the imaginary commentator kept trash-talking me I stared up at the sky. It was a nice, light blue. I like the sky. It was nice. I must've been tackled or caught off guard while I was lost in my thoughts.
I groped around for my glasses until I felt the familiar coolness of the metal and glass. Yay. I found them. I fumbled with them until I got them on and stood up. I rushed to my locker, put stuff in, took stuff out, put stuff back in, took stuff back out, you know the drill.
First freaking period and I'm already a mess.
When I sat in my history class one period before lunch, something awful happened. A group project. I never do well in group projects. It's either pair or be paired. Nobody is going to want to the my partner, and nobody is going to want to be my partner if they get paired up with me.
Teacher guy was pairing up people. Why don't you just hide underneath your desk now and get it over with. Teacher guy finally called out my name after an excrutiatingly long time.
"Maes and Bennett." He said. Who the hell is Maes? I looked around and saw that guy, Griffin, from yesterday. He was staring right at me. When he saw me look at him, he waved at me. My face turned bright red and I looked away quickly. I hope he doesn't ask my name again.
