The Deep Oneshots Part 1

Alpheus the cat au

How to care for your floof ball. A guide by the Nektons.

1)
Do not let the floof ball walk around the floating market unsupervised. Both for the floof balls safety and the pirates. He's earned the title of demon cat amongst the pirates.

2)
You may be tempted to call the floof ball cute but DO NOT! The floof ball will rage war. 'I said I was sorry!' 'HISS!!' On a side note adorable and sweetheart are also not accepted.

3)
The floof ball is very small and cannot climb onto counters or chairs without help. If you see the floof ball attempting to get onto a chair you may not laugh, laughing will only cause more problems.

4)
Do not and I repeat, do not give your floof ball coffee. 'HISSSSS!!!' 'I don't care Alpheus last time we gave you coffee you went absolutely crazy!' 'HISSSSS!!' the floof ball will not like this but it is for the best. 'WILL PICK UP YOUR COFFEE!!!'

5)
The floof ball may bring home some kittens do not panic this is fine. 'Alpheus where did you get seven kittens!' 'Mew' "WE ARE EIGHT MILES UNDER WATER!!'

6)
Do not attempt to separate the floof ball from his kittens the kittens will be upset and the floof ball will be angry.

7)
Do not leave the floof ball's children alone with Finn. Finn will pet the mimi floofs upsetting your floof ball. 'Come on Alpheus I just want to pet them!' 'HISSSSS!' 'Whyyyyy!?'

8)
If the floof ball takes something from your room well it belongs to ths floof ball now. You may attempted to trade with the floof ball for your items back. 'Please can I have my statue back Alpheus?' 'HISSSSS!!' 'Come on! It's a collectors item!'

9)
When the floof ball is playing with his kittens don't you dare comment on it. Finn made the mistake of calling it adorable once and the floof ball glared at him for the whole day.

I don't have anymore ideas for this but I had to post it anyway, hope you guys liked it!