𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑

𝟐𝟑

For the rest of my life, I want nothing more than to feel like I have this past summer. Maybe the humidity left my skin uncomfortably sticky some days more than others, but I'd be willing to live the stickiest of the days over and over if that meant I got to keep living a fantasy. Of Noah, of the lightness I'd felt in my whole body. As long as it meant I didn't have to go home to my dad.

Christ. I want to jump out of this car head first. If that's what it takes to escape my fate, then to heck with it. Right?

Oh, but I couldn't deal with the guilt. Do you feel guilt beyond the clouds? I don't even want to know. I'll know when I get there, if I get there.

"Can we stop for snacks and pee break?" Mason asks me, leaning in between me and Noah.

"Sure." I mumble, completely disregarding the fact that Noah's about to stop to get food.

Noah and I are left in the dust as soon as we get to the gas station.

The whole little store is glass windows so I sent my brother off with a twenty and decided to stay in the car with this too-kind boy that's, ironically, driving me to my doom.

He turns in his seat to look at me, eyes narrowed.

"Five minutes, tops." He says.

He wants me to talk. I want to talk. The thing is, I really can't bring myself to dissect every thought, every feeling. It would be too much. More than I could handle right at this moment.

I smile gently, shaking my head. "My lips are sealed."

He rolls his eyes, gaze flicking inside the store before meeting mine again. I have a feeling he's not going to let up. But I think that's part of the fun.

"Please?"

"I wouldn't tell you what's going on in my head for a million bucks." I'm not sure that's the truth, because if I had a million dollars, I'd be far from my father. I'd do just about anything for that money now.

He opens his mouth to speak, but smacks his lips shut, cheeks a soft pink. When he lifts his eyes, it's like I can hear him asking if I'd do it for a kiss.

Would being home have me missing out on this lovely awkwardness? I hope not. I hope we can still talk on the phone, maybe find  way to see each other every now and then.

"Maybe I'd do it for a kiss though." I whisper.

"Mind reader."

"Flirt."

He rolls his eyes, leaning into the console just as I do and covering my lips with his. It's just a sweet, gentle peck. It sends me into a five second daze, though.

The guy pulls away just to come back for another. Then another... then another. And by then, I've had it. We'd end up making out like we did on the couch if he didn't stop.

"Okay, okay." I laugh under my breath, pulling away from him.

He clears his throat. "My bad."

"Mm-hmm."

Why do I have a feeling that he knows exactly what he's doing? Like he's lived through this before and now is waiting for me to catch up with his everlasting wisdom.

Maybe he just knows how to draw things out of me. Wouldn't doubt it. He's mastered my mind at this point, I'm sure.

"I'm scared I'm never going to see you again." I tell him after a moment, eyes on my interlocked fingers in my lap. I tug, squeeze, wiggle them. "And I hate that thought because I don't think I've ever felt as happy as I do when I'm with you."