Bebe's funeral was absolutely beautiful, I was more than happy to be there. Her parents came to Ithaca, where the funeral was hosted at a local cemetery. It was unreal seeing her casket. She wrote a note to me before she'd left, and I suppose it qualified as a "suicide note", but I was too shaken to notice.
I had visited Bebe that tragic night, I had let her know I loved her and that everything would be good, if there was anything I could do to help her please tell me--I even made Timothee wait in the car, scared that she may take it a different way if she saw him. I tried to stay strong the entire time, but seeing her in the state she was in nearly killed me. It would take months for me to recover from this tragic accident...and it felt too soon for me to face her parents. Nevertheless, I proceeded, completely terrified--but I knew I owed it to them. They let Bebe come stay with me, they let me hang out with her and they reached out to me when Bebe couldn't. I knew I owed it to them to at least say "hello" or offer an "I'm so sorry Mr. & Mrs. Howes".
After the funeral I gave everyone hugs and everyone went home, including Timothee. Sara and I stayed a little bit longer to cry over Bebe's casket, but it was lowered to the ground, we tossed roses--her favorite flowers--on the casket, dropped a few notes in, and said goodbye to our BB Gun Girl for the last time.
***
y/n,
i'm sure you waited until after the funeral to read this &i know you won't feel strong enough to open it even then. but i'm sure you thought you owed it to me. and you know what, i wanna clear some things up.
i am so proud of you, y/n. you took on everything you did at such a rapid pace and you were winning and you led my life in a direction i never thought it would go in--you gave me so many things to be happy about--hell, even when you told me that i'd helped you a lot--whatever it was--i was ecstatic. being able to touch someone in that way was magnifying for me...and the fact that you touched me so quickly...changed my life forever.
i know you are probably asking a lot of questions as to why i am dead, and...i have no answers. as much as i love you--this world is just too heavy to take for me. i want you to know that you were absolutely enough & by no means did you circulate my decision at all--i was actually suicidal in middle school but postponed my death because of you.
i just...eventually, i knew it was time.
mom & dad couldn't have loved me better and nor could you have......but sometimes it's just our time to go, and it was mine to go.
please forgive me. and y/n?
never,
ever,
under any circumstances,
stop dreaming.
-bb <3
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COUNTING STARS | ★ | Timothee Chalamet x Reader
Romance❝All the stars in the sky, they don't shine as bright as you.❞ ❝Oh, astronomy puns? You're getting good.❞ / ☾ Y/N L/N, an astronomy major studying at Cornell University, NY, runs into a stranger on Twitter, the owner of a post she'd retweeted--and a...
