My god. I cannot take it. This everything is just reinforcing every little bad memory I had buried. I dug them up, I opened up to you. I told you how I was never chosen, I was never included. I faced my demons for you, I dragged them from the deepest pits of hell just so I can show them to you. And you went and cloned and upgraded those bastards so I could be haunted beyond help.
I just was always lonely, I was always the last option. And I showed this to you, that this is where I came from. And you just did it all again.
I wish it wasn't so fresh in my memory. At least I wouldn't be reminded of how much no one wants me. How much I will be loved in death, but never in life.
I am so replaceable to every person in life. I know I'm different, I know I'm not like every other person. I know I'm not replaceable. But you all give me positions that you would have anyone in.
I will never fit into your generic requirements of any relationships. I would have to be built a different place for in your heart because I will give so much. I have so much love to give. Yet no one to give it to.
I have so much to feel, but nothing worth the energy to feel for.
I am replaceable to every bloody person on earth. And I will easily be forgotten. Im unwanted. I am worthless. I am just another pathetic human being begging people to see me for all I am. See that I am not replaceable.
Why do I have to earn my place? Why do I always have to prove my worth? Why can't I be loved without me having to work so much for it? Till I'm empty.
Love me. Love me and don't ask me why I deserve to be loved.
