Sex Bucket List • Tokyo revengers

Part 2 - Chapter 16

When I woke up the next morning, Rindou was gone.

I spent the next five days in my bed, curled up in a ball. The only times I stood up were to go to the bathroom. But the next Monday, I had no choice but to drag myself out of bed to go to Baji's funerals.

I forced myself to take a shower, put on a black dress and apply a little bit of makeup, even though no amount of concealer could ever hide the fact that I had been crying for the past five days.

Mitsuya is the one who came to pick me up at my house. He knocked at the door, and I smoothed a hand down my black dress before opening. We both stilled as we locked eyes, recognizing the signs of our sadness and evident lack of sleep on each other's faces.

"Y/N..." He took a step forward to close the distance between us and grabbed me by the back of my neck to pull me against him, wrapping his other arm around me. I nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck and breathed in his familiar scent to try to get hold of my emotions.

When we pulled apart, Mitsuya gave me a small, sad smile that I returned. We got on his motorbike and drove in silence through the city. Mikey, Draken, Angry, Smiley, Pah, Peh, Takemichi, and Hina were already waiting in front of the small church the funerals would take place in when we arrived. Mitsuya and I got off his motorbike and joined their group. Draken wrapped an arm around my shoulders to give me a side hug while Hina took my hand in hers.

My gaze unwillingly sought Mikey, and I found him already watching me. I used to be able to know what he was feeling with one look, but in that moment, I couldn't read his expression. It made my heartbeat pick up a pace. Not in a good way.

The ceremony was quiet and sad, something Baji would have hated. Chifuyu gave a long, emotional speech about his best friend. That, Baji would have really loved.

At the end, Draken told me that Toman had prepared a special gathering to honor Baji and that I could come with Hina if I wanted, but I told him I would go to Baji's apartment to spend a little bit of time with his mother. Risa hadn't stopped crying during the entire ceremony, and I felt like she might have wanted a little bit of company.

Later that day, after I had dropped by Baji's house, I realized it was time to honor Baji's last wish. So for the first time in months, I texted Mikey.

From me to Mikey – I need to talk to you

Can we meet up?

A minute later, my phone vibrated with a new message.

From Mikey to me – Come over

I dropped by my house to take the purple charm and the old picture Baji had given me, then I walked to Mikey's apartment. It was already dark outside when I stopped at his door. The truth was that I had no idea what to expect. Would I be met with Mikey's anger, indifference, or sadness? Only one way to find out...

I inhaled deeply for courage before knocking at his door. He opened a few seconds later, one hand slipped into the pockets of the same black pants he was wearing at the ceremony this morning. He didn't say a word and simply stepped to the side, silently inviting me to come in. I swallowed hard as I walked past him, feeling his gaze follow me. 

My eyes swept over his apartment. It's still exactly the same.

The door closed behind us with a thud, and I turned around to face Mikey. I raised my hand and uncurled my fingers, revealing the purple charm and the picture I had been holding. "Here." I took a step towards him and handed Baji's prized possessions to him.

His eyes ever so slightly widened as he took them in his own hand.

"Where did you find that?" He asked, looking back up at me.

"Baji wanted me to give it to you."

He stared down at the charm and the picture, a muscle ticking in his jaw. After a few seconds, he slid them in the pocket of his pants before crossing his arms over his chest and looking back at me. Once again, his expression was unreadable, and it was making me increasingly nervous.

"I'm sorry about what happened." 

The words escaped my lips naturally because I meant every one of them. Flirting with Mikey's best friends, and not having been able to save Baji and protect Mikey from another heartbreak were all on the top of the list of things I regretted.

Mikey stared back at me, his face completely impassive. "Ok."

"...Ok?" I repeated.

"Yeah. I don't forgive you."

The four words felt like a knife that cut right through my soul. 

I repeated myself as though it could change something, my lips trembling. "Mikey, I'm really sorry."

He shrugged his shoulders, not an ounce of emotion showing on his face. "And I do not forgive you."

I sighed. "We both said and did things that we shouldn't have. If this is the last time we're going to talk to each other, we should-"

"No, no, no, no." He cut me off, shaking his head. Shivers ran down my spine at the smirk that slowly spread across his lips. "I'm not gonna give you closure. You don't fucking deserve that." He took a step towards me, his eyes narrowing. "You're gonna have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it's your fucking fault if Baji died before we had a chance to talk things through."

Tears stung my eyes as I returned his gaze.

"That's not fair." I whispered.

His smirk started to fall, his jaw ticking.

"You wanna know what else isn't fucking fair?" He walked up to me, and I backed away until my back hit the wall behind me. He grabbed my chin and squished my cheeks together almost painfully as he stared down at me. "I still want you so much it fucking hurts."

He let go of my chin and took my throat with his hand instead. My eyes fell closed as I anticipated the pain I would feel when he would squeeze my airway, but... the pain never came, and I slowly opened my eyes. 

Mikey had leaned down. Our lips were now an inch apart.

"I still love you." He breathed. "You still love me too, don't you? Tell me you do." He demanded, his eyes pacing from my lips to my eyes.

"Mikey." I tried to turn my head to the side, but he tightened his grip on my throat a little bit, forcing me to look back at him.

"You wanna know what's even worse?" He dropped his head in the crook of my neck and whispered against my skin. "Sometimes I don't know if I love you more than I hate you anymore."

He slid one leg between mine and brought his knee up, making my dress ride up a little higher on my thighs.

"I fucking hate you." He pressed a kiss to the side of my neck and thrust his his hips against my core once, squeezing my throat tighter to hold me still while he did it again, again, and again. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."

I moaned, fisting his sweater with both hands as he trapped my earlobe between his teeth and rubbed his knee against my clit through the fabric of my panties. "Mikey..."

He claimed my lips with his to cut me off.

This felt good but it was wrong. He was in pain, I could feel it, and I didn't know how to respond to the mixture of hate and passion he was pouring into our kiss. So I pushed him away from me.

"Stop." I caught my breath, ducking my head.

A few seconds passed before he laughed bitterly under his breath. I looked up at him, finding another smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 

He placed his hands on either side of me against the wall, and slowly brought his face closer to mine until our eyes were level. "I'm gonna make your life so horrible you're gonna wish you died with Baji. That's a fucking promise, love."

At that moment, I knew two things.

One,  Mikey never broke his promises. 

And two, I was going to have to find a way to defend myself.