The Bet | Gay BxB |

17. The Signs

He let go of me a short moment later, and I touched my lip to see if I was bleeding. Nope, not this time, either. At least he was being careful enough not to break my skin. He had a smug smile on his face as he brought his smoke to his lips.

"So you're busy tonight?" Jax asked, and the anxiety immediately returned.

"Yeah..." I breathed out, my good mood gone.

"I'm getting off from work at four tomorrow," he said.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" I asked, glad to change the subject.

"I could go out to eat. There's this new Chinese place at the mall."

"Chinese it is then," I said.

Jax leaned back a little, trusting me to support him. He took a good, long look at me, his eyes studying me closely.

"Yes, I've been told I'm very handsome," I said to lighten up the mood, but he ignored me.

"You're having a bad day, aren't you?" he asked quietly.

"Straight to the point, huh?" I muttered and sighed.

"Is it because of tonight?"

"It's just another lecture with Dad," I said dismissively.

"Really?" he asked, raising his eyebrow at me in disbelief. "I have eyes, you know."

"He's just trying to help, all right? I want to get into Yale, of all places, so I need his help."

"You're doing pretty well on your own," he noted.

"It's not good enough. It's Yale we're talking about," I reminded him, letting go of him.

He stared at me when I turned my back on him and leaned against the railings. I assumed he'd continue speaking, but he stayed silent. Of course he stayed silent. He wasn't a pushy person.

"It's nothing, really. I knew this year would be very stressful," I eventually said to break the silence.

"We're only two months into the year, and you already look like you're ready to jump off this building."

I snorted loudly and laughed a little, but not out of amusement. Then I realized something.

Two months. I'd already spent a month trying to make Jax tell me he loved me. That thought nearly freaked me out, but I forced myself to stay calm. Calm-ish.

"It'll be over fast," I muttered.

So would the bet.

"The year or jumping off the building?"

"I'm not jumping off the building," I said and turned to look at him.

He gave me a disbelieving look.

"I'm not."

"You'd better not," he said, dumped his smoke, and started walking to the door. "You coming?"

I turned to look over the railing. Then I looked down at the ground so, so many feet below us. Yeah, I was definitely not jumping off the building. If I wanted to end my life, I'd choose something much, much less scary.

But I didn't want to end my life. I just wanted to get a better grip on it.

*****

Friday night with Dad was... At least it didn't give me the urge to jump off a building. Dad had to stay at work on Saturday, so I was feeling less claustrophobic while I waited for Jax to get off from work. I used that time to catch up with homework, and I was actually quite happy with my progress.