𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐀 || 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐘

chapter seven

(PLSSSS I NEED TO START READING IT OVER CAUSE OML)

i saw my moms car meaning she was home.
(Veronica's bold)

"where we're you?"
"with my friends. we just walked around"
"for two hours?"
"yeah"
"mm okay."
"it's Malia coming home tonight?"
"no i gotta pick her up in the morning"
"okay"

my mom worked quite a lot. and since i got to school i barely see her. she's usually at work when i get out of school and she'll be home like an hour or two after.

and my dad.. i hadn't talked to my dad much. over the years i would go and visit him sometimes but i didn't like to. as now i'm 14 i now that he abused my mom and about his drug addiction. and how his "friends" would actually come and buy from him.
so i didn't forgive him for putting me through what he did , i don't think i ever would. he abused my mom in front of me and my sister.

every time i would visit him it would only be for an hour or two , as his "friends" still came around and it was awkward being around him. i didn't know what to say to him. i knew he knew i had things i wanted to say , but didn't. and i wouldn't. i was scared what his reaction would be if i told him the things i wanted to say , so i didn't say anything.

Malia would go with me to visit , she stayed by me and didn't say much. but she was young at the time everything was happening and she doesn't know what was actually going on , i didn't want her too.
although , we moved out from living with him when she was very very young so she didn't know him much at all. i'm sure she knew he was her dad but he wasn't around at all.

Matthew wasn't a dad to me or Malia. he never helps my mom with anything and he doesn't call or try hard enough to get in contact with us , so i don't try much anymore either. i used to. i missed him , for whatever reason. but now as i realize all the shitty things he put me through i don't care much for him.

my mom had a new boyfriend now. they have been on and off constantly for years. i don't like him. he has chocked my mom and he's way too toxic. he's always fighting with her and i'll hear it. i don't say my opinion all the time but i have said some things before. my mom knows i don't like him , and he knows i don't like him. so he doesn't come around the house much and instead she'll go over to his.
leaving me to watch Malia.
i don't understand why she's still with him , he doesn't love her. he rarely ever says nice things to her and he doesn't treat her well , so i don't know why she loves him. and even after i told her i don't like him , she stayed with him.

that's one thing i didn't like about my mom. she loved this guy who treats her like shit , and after going through all that with my dad i thought she would do better and leave him. but she doesn't. she completely ruins herself for someone who doesn't even treat her well. (Cassie type beat)

i didn't mind watching Malia , i loved my sister more than anything. though i wish my mom was around her more , it was whatever. nothing i could do.
as she told me "i'm the parent. i'm an adult. i can do whatever i want." so i let her.

i have been doing everything i can to make sure my love life isn't like hers. i didn't want to fall in love with someone that completely destroys me and doesn't treat me well. although i have been in a serious relationship , i've dated i've just never been really serious.

and i've never fell in love so i don't know what love felt like , i just hoped all love wasn't what my mom goes through. i had seen my family go through love and people around me. i didn't really care much about relationships. i didn't want to look for them or feel like i needed to be in a relationship.
so love ? i don't know. idk how to feel about it.
i haven't experienced it. i want too , sure. but it seems like a scary thing. like it's good until it isn't.

AUTHORS NOTES.
i hope this was good ‼️‼️
i'm trying to make a lot of chapters so this book is long. but i need ideas for what to put until ashtray and Vienna meet 😭 cause i want them to meet later on and then yk the whole thing starts of them not liking each other and then so on. HELP