the killing kind - (lgbt | onc 2022)

3

The statement, however, made his jaw drop.

"Days?"

How the hell was Jasper so strong, still?

Kavi leaned forward again, pressing the topic even as Jasper's attention remained on scraping the last dregs of syrup from the plate with his fork.

"Jas, what happened to you? Where have you been? Why has it been days since you had a meal?"

Jasper's retreat back into his shell was as visible as a physical wall slamming down behind his eyes. Helplessness and guilt swelled in Kavi's throat and he dragged his chair closer, the legs catching on the worn carpet. He'd slept on this floor countless times as a kid, slipping in long after Laura had fallen asleep with his blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a pillow beneath his arm. He and Jasper would whisper to each other from the distance between the bed and the floor until exhaustion claimed them both, and in the morning when Laura came to wake them up for school she would sigh, resigned and not actually all that angry.

"I'm sorry, that was too much at once." If he stretched his arm to the extent of its reach, he'd be able to snatch the edge of Jasper's empty plate and set it on the floor. He did that, gauging his ex-boyfriend's reaction.

Nothing.

"Jas, look at me. Please."

After a pause, those haunted brown eyes drifted up to meet his. A chill grabbed at Kavi's spine—Jasper was at once a familiarity and an enigma. Here in body but not in mind; both the boy he'd known his whole life and a complete stranger.

"You're okay, Jas, I promise." Kavi gave in to the urges prodding at the back of his mind, reaching for Jasper's hand. It twitched when he made contact, like a plant curling in on itself, but he didn't rip it away like he had with Declan, so Kavi took it as permission, wrapping his fingers around Jasper's larger palm. "You remember me, right?"

"A little." Jasper's voice carried hesitation. "...Glimpses."

"Can you be more specific?"

"I remember—" Jasper paused, gaze lifting to the popcorn ceiling. "Graduating together. At least, I think that's what it was. There was a party after, we were in someone's house..."

Exhilaration burned a brilliant white in Kavi's ribs. He nodded, placing his other hand on the tangle of their fingers and giving it a squeeze. "Yeah. Our classmate, Mari. Do you remember her?"

Jasper stared, hesitation and what might've been hope etched on his face and making him look more like the boy Kavi knew. "Blonde hair, right? And glasses?"

Kavi's laugh bubbled up out of his chest before he could stop it, giddy and victorious. "Yeah. Yeah, that's the one. Do you remember her boyfriend? He was there, too."

Jasper's lips parted slightly, showing a glimpse of his teeth. Kavi vividly recalled their first awkward kiss, where his own teeth had bumped against Jasper's in a clumsy union.

"Peter?" He ventured, then cut himself off before Kavi could speak. "No, wait—Paul. Captain of the high school football team, not that there was much of a team in the first place, since our graduating class was like, ten kids, and we never played games with other schools. There's also only one school here in—in—"

Kavi opened his mouth, but Jasper lifted his hand with a rattle of metal links against the bed frame, halting him.

"No, don't tell me. Ashwell. We're in Ashwell."

Kavi couldn't see or even think past the warm rush of joy that had taken over his limbs. He squeezed Jasper's hand between his until a tingling started up in his fingers, cheeks hurting with the intensity of the grin that had crept onto his face.