Mötley crüe x reader

Fifty

I haven't slept all night and believe me I tried. Tommy did everything he could to stay up and make me fall asleep but he eventually fell asleep. I got up early in the morning knowing that Nikki would be too passed out to even notice me going into his house. I walked in taking a deep breath before seeing empty bottles everywhere on the ground, I sighed and walked towards his room seeing that he was still asleep. I sniffled softly and walked towards the closet grabbing my clothes and my shoes, I heard Nikki groaning as my heart stopped. I suddenly stopped moving as nothing were heard after, I sighed in relief and grabbed my bags walking towards the door. But before I could do so, I turned around to look at Nikki who was peacefully sleeping which made me shed another tear. I looked at his nightstand seeing the ring beside a picture of us, wiped my tears and turned back around as I felt him grabbing my arm weakly rubbing circles on it with his thumb

"Y/n?" He asked confused in a sleepy voice which made my heart skip a beat

"I just came by to grab a few things" I replied not knowing what to say

"Oh, yeah alright" He uttered letting go of my arm before turning back around

I took of the other ring he gave me putting it on the nightstand near the other one

"Goodbye Nikki" I said almost mumbling my voice shaking terribly

"Wait, where are you going?" He asked in a sleepy deep voice

"Away from here. Far from you hopefully" I replied packing one of my bags with more of my shoes

"What? What are you talking about?" He asked sitting down rubbing his eyes

"Well I'm a slut  who can't keep her legs closed, you said it yourself so I'm going far away from you to let you live in peace" I said pulling the bag over my shoulder standing up

"What? I never said that?" He asked more and more confused

"Of course not! Of course not Nikki I'm the crazy one. How was the sex with your new friend by the way?" I asked out of anger my face burning probably red by now

"Baby I could never say that c'mon stop joking and come cuddle with me. I didn't sleep with anyone" He said opening his arm which made me feel a wave of weakness down my body

I shook my head letting some tears falling down my red cheeks as I dropped my bags onto the ground

"Nikki it's over" I whispered my throat squeezing

"What do you mean it's over? No come here my love" Nikki said standing up walking closer to me as I took a step back shaking my head

"Leave me alone Nikki. Don't even t-talk to me again don't even call me I don't want to h-hear your voice ever again" I said crying shaking my head

The truth was that I wanted to hear his voice again as stupid as it sounds. I wanted to feel his arms around my body keeping me close and safe but what he did was something I could never forget or forgive

"What the hell are you talking about! Stop playing c'mon" He said holding me into a tight hug which made me want to puke.

As much as I loved him, it was becoming too much to handle. The band, the love, the friendship, growing up... Everything was falling apart. I just stayed there not moving an inch in his arms

"Nick please let me go..." I sniffled

"No baby... I don't know what I said last night but it wasn't true at all..." Nikki uttered quietly stroking my hair

"Nikki no you meant everything you said it and-and- it h-hurts" I said before sobbing in his arms uncontrollably

"Kitten no... Don't say that" He whispered holding me tighter as I noticed that his hands were shaking along with his legs

"Nikki I-"

"Please don't leave me alright?" He whispered again which made his whole body shake

"Let go Nikki I think it's time" I whispered feeling my whole body shaking as well. I knew damn well it wasn't the time to let go, but that's the only thing that came out of my mouth

"No no no! We were supposed to get married have kids and live an happy life please don't do this to me" Nikki cried holding me as tight as he could

I hugged him back crying like I never cried before. The last time I cried that much is when he did his OD, I couldn't believe he didn't remember a thing he said...

"I know but nothing lasts forever" I whispered between two cries

"I want it to last forever! I'll do better I promise just don't leave me!" He shouted squeezing my hips getting angrier at himself

I just shut my eyes tighter leaning into his touch

"Nikki I can't -"

"Y/n don't leave me please you can't do that to me... Please I'm begging you don't leave don't don't don't!" She shouted before hitting the wall behind me as I flinched burying my face in his chest

"I loved you but you.... You f-fucked everything up" I whispered on his chest sniffling

"I didn't do anything fuck Y/n I- I didn't do anything I love you so m-much please stay with me. I promise I'll bring you flowers everyday I'll buy you gifts and-and-"

"I don't need gifts.... I just want to be the one you love" I said cutting him off

"And if that's too much to ask then I don't know what to tell you" I added sniffling

"You're the one I love... Always has been and always will be Y/n" He replied pulling away cupping my cheek as I shook my head slowly sniffling

"That's a lie... You slept with her you told me last night and-and... I can't take it anymore" I said staring into his eyes

"I never slept with her, I probably said it out of anger... I would never do that to you"

"Would you not? I mean you cheated so many times and-"

"It was back then, I'm an adult now I know what I can do and what I can't. Y/n I never slept with her, only you. Just you" He uttered quietly cutting me off

I just nodded and fell back in his arms, I never saw him like that. He was vunerable, sad and above all... Weak? I looked at his face one last time before pulling him in for a kiss. I felt anger and sadness in the kiss which made it even more interesting. He lift me up by the hips as I wrapped my legs around his waist, he slammed my back to the wall still not breaking the kiss as I gasped putting my arms around his neck. Was I being stupid for doing this? Maybe. Would I regret it in the morning? Probably. But at this point there was nothing that I wanted more than to feel his lips against mine and his body pressing on mine...

//I'm gonna try to make at least one chapter each week!//