"hyung, shall we stop already?" hyunjin asked chan who was fixing his clothes.
"what?" chan asked starting to get annoyed. Facing hyunjin's back who was fixing the table.
"Us, should we end us?" Hyunjin asked stopping his movements but still not facing his hyung.
"Stop it with your bullshit hyunjin we'll talk later I'm running late." Chan said annoyance very evident in his voice that became a little bit louder.
"Right, later." Hyunjin repeated.
"I love you channie hyung." Was the last thing Chan heard as he shut the door closed.
~
While being left alone in the apartment hyunjin had time to reflect and ponder. Maybe this time it was fine that Chan cut him before he said anything he might regret. As optimistic as hyunjin is he thought that if they talk it out they'll be able to fix it. So hyunjin was anxiously waiting for chan to arrive as he cooked various dishes of chan's favorite. He wait and wait at the living room until he fell asleep.
What woke him up was the doorbell in their apartment. Hurriedly opening the door. As he opened it he saw Chan drunk. The older's hair messy as his shirt was wrinkled and his tie and buttons were loose. A lipstick stain evident in his white shirt and some marks on his neck his scent reeking of chan's own and another person's perfume. It was as if Hyunjin was punched as his chest clenched making it hard for him to breathe. As chan just slumped into his hold probably too tired and sleepy he closed the door as tears fell from his eyes. "Let's get you to bed hyung." He said trying for his voice to sound as stable and normal as he can. The food he prepared forgotten and cold. Once they got to their shared bedroom Hyunjin dropped his hyung to bed and tucked him in. For a while he just sat beside the older as he pat his head staring and still looking at him with so much love and admiration.
"You know hyung I thought that once you get home we'd be able to talk it out and we'll be fine again just like before." He said quietly to his sleeping lover.
"But we've changed haven't we..." he continued.
"I know you're tired hyung. But what can I do hyung? I'm also starting to get tired." Tears were now continuously falling from his eyes. "I want to keep on holding but it hurts hyung. I'm with the person I love the most but the pain just keeps on getting worse. but still, even right now I can't get myself to hate you."
"atleast I can say that we both tried. Right?"
"Maybe it really is time to let go hyung. I love you hyung and I always will but I guess I'll have to do it from afar from now on." Hyunjin said as he hugged chan tightly for the last time and nuzzled his head into the older's neck. It hurt him like hell, chan smelled of another person but still he inhaled his lover's scent for the last time not wanting to forget it. New tears rolled down as it wet chan's shirt. "I love you hyung, always" Was the last thing Hyunjin said before he got up and went to their bedroom's desk to write a letter. And then clean the kitchen and transfer the food that was long forgotten in their dining table to containers and put it in the fridge. Pack up and then leave.
Once chan woke up the space beside him was empty and no noise was heard. His head was still hurting as he grabbed the water bottle that was on their bedside table. Underneath it he saw a letter.
Dear channie hyung,
By the time you read this I probably already left. I'm sorry for not waiting for you to get home and not saying it to you in person but just like what I said earlier let's break up. Thank you for everything hyung. Take care. I'll always support you.
- Hyunjin
