Shattered - Completed

12 - Dizzy

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

"Let's shower, beloved," Gavin murmurs, picking up his head from the crook of my neck. His eyes are dark, the golden color almost entirely brown today.

He's soaping up my hair when he asks, "is it too much? You're entitled to have a day off if you need it."

I just blink up at him. I'm still not used to another wolf caring about my feelings. I haven't had a 'day off' in... maybe ever?

The only good thing about my busy days is the Knowing has seemed to ease off. I think I'm too exhausted to dream. "I don't like wearing shoes," I blurt out. I'm an idiot.

Gavin grins. "I know, baby." He finishes rinsing us and kisses my mouth softly. When we step out of the shower my eyes accidentally fall to his semi-erection. Blushing, I hurry to wrap a towel around me as Gavin chuckles over my reaction.

We get dressed in silence. Early morning lessons allow me to dress more casually, thank the goddess. I pull on a pair of buttery soft slacks and a blouse with tiny white flowers all over it. Gavin dresses in black and dark grey. It's a thing with him.

"You're just completely adorable," he mutters to himself as we walk to the door to the suite. He stops, kissing me again. "I'll see you for breakfast, beloved."

"Bye, Gavin," I respond shyly. I want to call him some form of endearment, but I feel silly doing so. He's my mate, my alpha, but also he's... not? There are so many secrets, so many untied strings floating in the breeze. I spend almost all day feeling as if I'm an imposter living some other female's life.

My wolf comes out, satisfied when the powerful male leaves. Her wariness translates into mine, leaving us both intimidated. Tivo hurt her deeply and I'm not sure if she'll ever recover. Sighing, I walk down the hall to the pretty sitting room where Argen and Madame Bianca are waiting for me. Bard trails me, his own eyes tired-looking, but alert.

The eight-panel door, newly painted a light grey, swings open to reveal a she-wolf I was hoping to never see again. "Good morning, Luna," Emilie greets me sullenly.

"Good morning, Emilie." Where is Argen? I hesitate, but then I remember all my lessons and walk inside the room with my head held high. Having Bard at my back helps, of course. I sit at the small table, set for one, and let my she-wolf inhale Emilie's scent. She doesn't seem to harbor any intention of violence, and Bard is here, so we relax a bit. Porridge is placed in front of me.

I've come to hate porridge. It looks like such a simple meal, but it's heavy in my stomach and sits like a rock for at least an hour. I was hungry so often before that I feel guilty for being ungrateful, but I can't help but feel like I'm being plumped up, a pig to slaughter.

I eat as much as I'm able while Emilie pretends to ignore me as if I'm a naughty little pup. Leaving the spoon in the mostly-empty dish, I stand up with a sigh. "Where is Madame Bianca today, Emilie?"

"You are skipping your comportment this morning, Luna," Emilie says stiffly. "Doctor Milden would like to see you."

A doctor?!

I blink at Emilie in disbelief. My she-wolf scurries back into her den, hiding. I wish I could do the same thing. "Why?" I blurt out.

"The alpha wishes to make certain you're healthy, Luna," Bard interjects quietly as Emilie herds me out of the door.

I feel cold as I walk downstairs. I'm wearing my slippers, but the stone floor seeps through the thin lining, leaching my warmth right out of my body. Dread fills me as we descend into the lower bowels of the castle. I've not explored most of my new home, and I've certainly never been down here, before.