All The Way Down

Chapter 12

I carried Rosalie back up the road to Michelle's cabin. By the time we reached the door, my arms were sore and I was breathing a little hard from the altitude. Michelle held the door open for me while I carried Rosalie into the living room.

"In here," Michelle said, leading me into Rosalie's bedroom. It didn't look like it belonged in the same cabin as the rest of the rooms. The walls were freshly painted, and at waist level a carefully drawn alphabet danced around the perimeter of the room. The floor had new, thick carpet on it and one corner of the room overflowed with stuffed animals. Michelle pulled back the covers of the bed as I laid Rosalie on the sheets. Michelle removed Rosalie's shoes and slid the covers up to her chin.

We stood close for a moment, watching Rosalie breathe. I could hear her exhalations coming soft and strong. Michelle leaned her shoulder against mine and I put my arm around her waist, holding her close.

She pulled away gently and then led me by the hand into another bedroom. Then she closed the door behind us and leaned her back against it so it couldn’t be opened by Rosalie if she woke up and came looking for us.

The lights were off and the blinds were down in the room, but there was enough light coming through that we could still see each other. She took both my hands in hers and pulled me so close that our noses were almost touching. Then she put one hand up against the side of my face and kissed me.

I put my arms around her, feeling the smooth muscles of her back through her shirt and smelling the fragrance of her hair. Her hands slid down my spine and settled on my hips for a moment before grabbing my belt and pulling me against her. When we kissed again the heat was intense and our breaths began coming harder. She let go of my belt and I could feel her hands at her chest, unbuttoning her shirt before pulling it free of her jeans. I slid my hands under her shirt and put my palms against the hot skin at the base of her back. When she put her lips on mine again I felt like I was in free fall.

Then the dog started barking frantically. We both froze.

I flipped the light on and Michelle began buttoning her shirt. I went out into the living room where Colonel stood guard at the front door, still barking. The hair was raised on his back and he looked like he wanted to kill whatever was on the other side of the door. I looked through the peephole onto the front porch. Nothing. I looked out the windows of the living room but didn’t see anyone there.

I got a large knife from the kitchen counter, held Colonel off at the front door, and went outside.

I circled the house before checking farther out into the trees which separated Michelle's house from its neighbors. I was keenly aware of the sound of my own breath, the sound of my shoes in the soil, the snapping of twigs underfoot. Everything in my visual field had a sharp edge to it, and I could feel my heart pounding. In the distance I heard a car engine rumble to life. Then it was quiet again except for the muffled sound of Colonel barking.

Colonel had stopped barking by the time I went back inside. Michelle was sitting on the sofa with her arms folded across her chest. She looked at the knife in my hand.

"Shit," she said. "That was scary. I could see you out there with the knife. You looked like you wanted to kill somebody."

I put the knife back where I’d found it and poured myself a glass of water. I wasn’t thirsty but I needed to do something with my hands. They were shaking.

I thought that whoever had been outside might come back, so I stayed with Michelle until it was dark. After a while we both relaxed again. Michelle put some music on and we slow-danced in the kitchen, holding each other close. Her forehead rested on my shoulder and I kissed the soft skin on the side of her face. Rosalie trudged into the kitchen quietly, still half asleep. Her hair was mussed and needed brushing. She still clutched the orange golf ball in her hand. I pulled a cookie off the tray with my free hand and held it out to Rosalie behind Michelle's back. Rosalie gave me a small smile and sat down on the floor, munching the cookie.

After a while I helped Michelle fix tacos for dinner. I grilled the ground beef while she chopped the lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. Rosalie watched us work for a while, then went to the kitchen table and began looking at a coloring book.

After dinner, I decided that it was time to go. Michelle and I kissed at the door.

I got on my knees to give Rosalie a hug. When I stood up, Rosalie signed to Michelle quickly with a questioning look.

"Rosalie wants to know if you'll come back to play golf again," Michelle said.

I nodded at Rosalie.

"Tell her I said only if she'll help me with the hard putts." Michelle signed the translation for Rosalie, who grinned, and in that moment I thought that her face looked very much like her mother's. Colonel bumped up against me with his nose, and I rubbed behind his ears for a few seconds, thinking that maybe having a dog around seemed like a pretty good idea. They never seem to want much from their owners, and they have an inexhaustible supply of love to offer.

I stepped from the porch and began walking back down to the lodge in the darkness. The air was thick with the sweet smell of pine and fir. I looked back over my shoulder towards the cabin. Rosalie was watching me through the window.