Strawberries and Cigarettes

So you sat and stared at my lips And I could already feel your kiss

Sirius woke up covered in sweat . His black curls stuck to his forehead , his grey eyes wide open . He sat up panting and tightly clutching the sheets of his bed . A nightmare .

It was the beginning of the 5th year . His nightmares were always bad at the beginning of the year . This summer was particularly bad . But then again , every summer was worse than the previous one .

There was no way he could fall asleep , not alone at least . James' bed was on his right and Remus' bed on his left . He'd always gone to James . James was used to it . But this time his legs dropped on the left side of his bed . Sirius didn't know why he did it .

He didn't make any sound as he approached Remus' bed , which was not far from his own . He gently opened the red curtains to find Remus sleeping . He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping .

This was the moment Sirius was supposed to turn back and go to James' bed . But he didn't want to wake James, he wanted to wake Remus .

"Moony" He gently nudged the other boy's shoulder ."Moons, wake up ".

Remus awoke , slightly opening his eyes .

"Hm" he mumbled .

Sirius felt his face flush .

"It's me. Sirius " he said "I - I had a nightmare ".

Remus opened his eyes wider and found Sirius' face which was growing hotter by the minute .

"I - I can go " he began to retreat but stopped when he felt Remus' hand on his wrist pulling him into the bed .

"C'mere" the boy murmured, tugging Sirius' arm .

His cheeks were still red ( Thank Merlin the dorm was dark ) Sirius obediently slid under the covers and laid right next to Remus , who wrapped his arms around the boy bringing him closer . Flustered , Sirius simply laid his head on the other boy's chest listening to his steady heartbeat .

The bed was small, that must've been why Remus hugged him so tightly . After all, they barely fit together . Remus was tall and Sirius ... well he wasn't .

Sirius slowly acclimated himself to the situation . Remus smelled of fresh parchment and chocolate - but that wasn't new . What was new was the arm wrapped around Sirius' waist.

"You wanna talk about it ?"

Sirius hesitated then shook his head .

"You wanna sleep or just-".

"I wanna sleep - I just ".

"No ,it's okay "he said "I'm fine with sleeping ".

"Goodnight moony "

Remus didn't answer immediately . Instead, he brushed away the curls that stuck to Sirius' forehead and kissed the place . "Goodnight , love ".

Sirius felt his eyes widen and his cheeks flush again . Remus was tired . That was the only explanation for what he did and said . He could not like a person like Sirius .

Could he ?

__________________________________________________________

The next morning Sirius woke up to an empty bed .He sat upright , looked around. It was early .Then his ears recorded something new - the sound of the shower running . Sirius flopped back on the bed, relieved . After last night's incident he had been afraid that Remus might've run away .

30 minutes later after everyone in the dorm had left for breakfast , Remus finally left the bathroom . His damp curls were falling over his forehead as he passed Sirius .

"Hey " Sirius said, smiling shyly .

Remus glanced at him briefly saying "Gotta get to breakfast , talk to you later ,Padfoot .

And with that he exited the dorm , leaving Sirius stunned , an empty feeling forming in his stomach .But when Sirius got to the Great hall Remus had already left - again. That only worsened his terror .

He wanted to talk to Remus .His plan had been to gently ask him what the kiss had meant . But now he felt like he had done something , something embarrassing like confessing his feelings for Remus . And didn't remember it .

Remus didn't sit with him in classes and went to bed early .This continued for a week . Sirius understood that Remus was avoiding him but that didn't make him feel better . He tried to remember if he'd done something he shouldn't have .

So , Sirius came up with a plan . They had a charms essay due Thursday and he knew that Remus would stay up late perfecting his essay . So he stole the map from James and waited till the Common Room emptied , leaving only Remus sitting there surrounded by books , fingers covered in ink .

Sirius cleared his throat .

"Sirius ".

Sirius . Not Pads as Remus usually called him . Not even Padfoot .

Ignoring that , he proceeded to sit on the couch beside Remus .

"I need to talk to you "

"I need to finish this " he said, gesturing to the parchment in his hands .

"Moony , You and I both know that your essay is perfect ".

Remus sighed and set his parchment and quill down on the table before him .

"Alright then ".

"Right um , I wanted to talk about what happened that night ".

Remus' eyes widened and he looked away .

"Look I'm really sorry-"

"No , don't be sorry .It's just that you've been avoiding me and I don't know what happened, did I do something or if you're embarrassed -"

"What do you remember".

"Well I remember that i went to your bed , you asked about the nightmare , we said goodbye and - and the you ..."

"Merlin "Remus interrupted him , hiding his face in his hands .

"No , Moony, I just wanted to know if that meant something - cause - ".

He paused and gently pulled Remus' hands away from his face . Only to see something like fear in Remus' eyes .

"Cause that would be okay ".

His face relaxed .

"Really ?"

"Yeah " Sirius smiled .

But then a few seconds later Remus jerked his hands away.

"No "

"N-What ?''

"You're just saying that because you feel bad for me . Stop . You don't have to like me back ".

"But I do like you back , Moony ".

"Sirius , please , I need you to be honest "

And then not thinking Sirius pulled the high end of Remus' tie , smashing their mouths together .

For the first few seconds Remus was taken aback but then he responded , and it felt amazing .

They pulled back after a few long moments , panting and grinning .

"Was that honest enough for you " Sirius asked .

"You bloody idiot " Remus murmured , and pulled Sirius closer , kissing him again .