Hamlet but it's Better

Act Four, Scene Six

Location: platform outside the castle

(Enter HORATIO and a SERVANT)

HORATIO: Hold on. Someone's trying to talk to me? Are you sure you have the right Horatio?

SERVANT: Positive. They have a letter for you.

HORATIO: Okay. Let them in, I guess. (Exit SERVANT) Who would...(moment of realization)..Oh...boy, here we go. (Enter SAILORS)

FIRST SAILOR: Hello, sir.

HORATIO: Hi there.

SECOND SAILOR: Here's your post. From some English ambassador, I think.

HORATIO: Great. (reads out loud) Hi Horatio! It's me. Hamlet. Tell the messengers to go to the king and give him the second letter--well, you heard the guy (exit SAILORS). We were going to go to England, but then I was kidnapped in the middle of the night by pirates. So, while Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are sleeping on the other boat, I'm writing you this letter with my foot tied to the mast of a pirate ship. It was a little scary at first, but they're pretty nice, just rough around the edges. Anyways, I'm sure I'm nearly back in Denmark by now--they're taking me back--so I'll see you soon. Hamlet. (pause) Well...(lengthier pause)...here we go, I guess. (Exit)