SWEET ESCAPE || poe dameron x reader

chapter nine: crush

Being a part of the Resistance was often chilling. A laugh here and there, a smile and a chuckle and a giggle over a beer at night, sweat still on pilot's brows and their anxiety just beginning to dissipate knowing they're back and safe on land. But the chilling part—the deaths, the loss, the fighting and the overall war—

That was the worst thing of all.

The mess hall shushed instinctively when Leia walked in, sending a small but professional smile from table to table, strolling down the aisle slowly and with a prowess that you'd never appreciated until it was coming from her.

She reached the end of the hall, turning back to all the cadets with a sombreness behind her eyes. You looked at her and imagined how hard it must be—recruiting people to fight, knowing that not all of them would live to see the end of the war. It was gruelling to witness, but even more harsh to be her.

"Good morning, everyone," she addressed the room, and all muttering ceased in an instant. "I won't take up too much of your time before the day starts, but there are some things I wish to address," and just like that, her eyes had found you. Out of all others in the room, her gaze had stuck on yours like a moth to a flame. You reciprocated her stare strongly, ignoring the bubble of anxiety that appeared in your gut as if on demand.

"A few days ago, a cadet attempted to harm another. It was unexpected, and thankfully, no one was injured," she explained. Your mind began blaring alarm signals, as you felt the trickling stares of the other cadets in the room. But one most of all—

Poe Dameron; sat opposite you, his stare seeping into your very core, even though you forced yourself to keep your eyes forward.

"I don't need to tell you that this is unacceptable. I know not all of you will get along, not all of you will become friends, or even acquaintances, but we already have a war on our hands beyond this planet—we don't need a war within our base walls," she spoke with a severity, signifying just how serious an action like this was. It was funny, but despite your panic attack and the mere thought of someone here harming you, you hadn't expected it to be this big.

Some part of you still looked at Ale'sha simply—she hadn't meant to harm you, but forces had coerced her to do so. Losing her friend the week prior, losing Poe after her own actions towards you. Maybe you just didn't like to harbour grudges, but you hadn't expected this address.

"First and foremost," Leia continued. "The way you all feel inside is of upmost importance. If you're feeling down, if you're feeling low, like there is no hope and you don't know how to go on—tell someone, I beg you," her tone was confirming of her care, alongside the way her eyes glistened towards every single one of her recruits. "We all understand how it feels to be here. The fear, the aggression, the conflict. We can all help one another to stop it consuming each of us," her eyes hit Poe's then. He swallowed strongly, clenching his jaw and raising his chin respectfully. "I know the reluctance to get close is prominent, but talk to one another. We're a unit, a team. Without inner support, the Resistance would all but collapse. And we all know that cannot happen,"

Something within you urged you to look at Dameron then. You turned your gaze to him, his eyes hitting yours intensely. There was an understanding within that look. His stare was firm but gentle; comforting. There was no snark behind his eyes or on his lips, only sincerity.

He knew you more, now. A few days ago, you'd spilled your guts on the dorm floor of your past and vomited up your words involuntarily, as if they'd been waiting to pour from your lips for a long time. He'd listened the entire time, looking at you softly and thoughtfully—but there was no pity on his face. He knew what it felt like, and he understood that the last thing anyone wanted in a moment of vulnerability was to be felt sorry for.