ECLIPSE, grishaverse

ix. scared and scarred

A laugh bubbled from her throat without Yelena's permission and she mumbled something before taking a sip of her drink.

"Bloody prince."

*  *  *

Yelena sat in the war room most of the day. Every presentative of each order, Mal and Alina were sitting in the table as they discussed numbers, pardons, the Apparat and the Darklin's nichevo'ya, they talked about defenses and strategies in case of emergency. After it, Alina and Yelena spoke about the amplifiers and Baghra. Her sister had visited the old woman in hopes she could tell them more about Morozova and the amplifiers, but she was unsuccessful.

"Could you go, please?" Alina insisted. "She likes you more than me."

"No, she doesn't." Yelena replied, shaking her head. "And even if she did, after what Kirigan did she won't help us."

"Just try!" younger Starkov looked at her sister with dove eyes and a small pout on her lips.

Yelena rolled her eyes and sighed. "Alright." she mumbled, then added. "But you need to speak with David then, he looked at you when talking about merzost. And I know he knows more than he says."

Alina sighed, Yelena guessed she wasn't ready to face the man who put the stag's horns in her neck. But then again, Yelena wasn't ready to face Baghra either, so they both had to make sacrifices. "Fine." her sister finally said.

But Yelena didn't have time to pay the old woman a visit that day. When she came back to her chambers she was welcomed by piles of paper waiting for her. She spent the rest of her day preparing Grisha pardons and signing countless of documents. Sometimes she lost herself in memores of the camp in Kribirsk, where she stayed late to correct work and sign papers, just like now. Somehow, she had lost her dream job and found another in the crazy mess of the civil war. Other times, she remembered sitting in front of Kaz's desk as he went over papers and Yelena took every detail of the man with her gray eyes.

By the time she made a small dent in a pile, it was night and she was late for dinner. She freshened up a little before going down to the doomed hall, even tho she wanted so bad to eat in her chambers and keep working. But Yelena knew it was important to assert her presence in the Little Palace, and she needed to see if her orders were being follow. She sat on the Darkling's table, a gray and comfy chair was placed where his dark one used to be. Yelena decided to have dinner with different Grisha every night, what she thought it was idea as she needed her Army to be strong and to trust each other. Some of them were quiet and clearly uncomfortable with the new arrangements, and Yelena didn't really know hot to approach them either. But she found common ground with the Materialki, they told her about their experiments, then she moved onto a Tidemaker, and when she realized they were all talking. A success, Yelena thought as she grinned.

She started the next day with a smile, as a tray with her favorite tea and sweet cookies met her, again. The feeling that crept on Yelena's stomach made her want to giggle and barf at the same time. But it wasn't because of the food. She made herself remember her position, and his. It was okay to feel grateful and to like him in a platonic way, but it couldn't go farther. She shook her head to get rid of those thoughts and went on with her day. Another war council waited for her, then she tidied up a little before heading to the Gran Palace to join Nikolai and the King's adviser. They spoke about Os Alta's defenses, weaponry and strategies. Sometimes Yelena chimed in to make suggestions and to include the Grisha, but the advisers were still suspicious of the Second Army.

"They'll come around," Nikolai said when he catch up with her in the gardens. If Yelena was honest, she was trying to put some distance between them. She was so far, unsuccessful. "Walk with me down the lake?" he asked her, his hazel eyes seemed to gleamer under the sunlight.