A Karat of Patience

Chapter Twenty

"Mick...I feel really strange...something feels off."

"It's the LSD," Mick replied airily. His voice sounded far away, even though he was sitting right next to Christine. "Can you feel that? The energy, it's coming up from the earth."

Christine inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to focus on her breathing. She let her eyes wander down to her right hand, which was mindlessly caressing the grass beneath her. Her mouth hung open when she saw green shoots protruding from her skin, swaying and gently reassuring Christine that this phenomenon was perfectly normal and natural.

"Look at the tree, Chris! It's breathing."

Christine tilted her head and gazed up at the tree they were sitting under. The leaves seemed to move in waves—hypnotic and enchanting. Christine imagined a branch extending downwards and curling itself around her, squeezing her tight until she dissolved into the bark...it wasn't an unpleasant idea.

Mick was still on his tangent, "Isn't it amazing how nature knows instinctively how to stay in harmony? Everything doing its part for the earth?"

Christine's eyes drifted shut as the scenery continued to dance and pulsate around her. She wet her dry lips with her tongue and took a big gulp. "I think I need something to eat and drink. Let's go to your restaurant?" She turned to Mick and poked his knee. "Mick?"

"Okay. Let me just...get my bearings." He staggered to his feet and grasped Christine by her forearms to haul her up. "Are you feeling all right?"

Christine rubbed her forehead and took another deep breath, holding on to Mick's hands for balance while the ground rotated lazily. "I'm fine. I just really need to get out of here."

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"I thought you were hungry?"

Christine pushed away her plate and folded her arms on the table, resting her chin on her hands. "I've lost my appetite, suddenly."

Mick shrugged and pierced his fork into Christine's abandoned clam chowder. She stared at him, noticing how his facial features were distorted through the haze of her LSD and marijuana buzz. The pleasant feeling at Mick's house had dissipated and was replaced by the beginnings of paranoia and anxiety. Christine pressed her hand on her chest in a feeble attempt to still her erratic heartbeat, averting her gaze when Mick looked up at her. His smile looked unnatural and turned up at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes were bulging until they were almost grotesque and clown-like.

She heard a peal of laughter burst forth from the group of people at the table across from them and she jumped, turning her head sharply at the sound. They were staring at her, unwavering and eerie. Christine scratched at her arms and stared back at Mick, who was frowning at her now.

"What's wrong, love?"

"They were laughing at me!"

"What?" Mick turned around then looked back at her, completely bewildered. "No, no, no. I'm sure they weren't."

Christine stood up. "I have to go." She walked away from the table and ignored Mick calling after her. Christine kept her eye on the entrance. She needed to escape the stares, the laughter, and the uneasy feeling that took her back to 1998 when her days were filled with endless dread and panic after every performance and social interaction.

The restaurant walls wobbled and closed in on Christine until she felt like she was suffocating. Short of breath, she broke out into a jog, wanting to circumvent a full-blown anxiety attack. Christine didn't want to go through that again, and told herself over and over that she was beyond those dark, horrible feelings now.