reasons to go, reasons to stay ➸ camren

chapter twenty six ➸ broken

6 months later

Lauren had been surprised at how quickly Rowan picked up sign language. Both her and Lauren saw a doctor every day, teaching them both how to communicate with their hands. Rowan thought it was fun, treating it like a game. She always looked forward to going. It was times like this that Lauren was thankful she had Camila's optimism.

At home, both girls talked as well as signed. Teaching Rowan to associate the signs with spoken words would be helpful when she couldn't actually hear what Lauren was saying. Sometimes Rowan would get too excited while talking, and Lauren became very familiar with the "slow down" sign.

Rowan's hearing slowly grew worse. Now, Lauren had to sign to her all the time in order for Rowan to understand. The only time they could talk without signing was in a quiet room, with Rowan right next to her mother. It pained Lauren to see her daughter struggle, but it also made her proud of how much of a trooper Rowan was being.

She'd been working on getting Rowan enrolled into a school for the deaf. The only problem was that it was an hour drive away from their apartment. Lauren was willing to make the sacrifice, though. Her daughter came first.

A tap on her shoulder brought Lauren out of her thoughts, and she looked down at the small girl in front of her. Lauren smiled at Rowan, who gave her a big grin in return.

'I love you' Rowan signed. Lauren's heart fluttered and she laughed softly, kissing the small girl on the forehead and ruffling her hair.

'I love you more' Lauren spoke aloud as she signed back to her daughter. Rowan giggled excitedly and crawled onto the bed to kiss her mother's cheek before hopping down to the floor and disappearing back into her bedroom.

Only two good things have emerged from Rowan's slow descent into deafness.

Her laugh. As Rowan began growing less aware of what she sounded like, her laugh became more genuine. If something was really funny, she didn't hold back. Her boisterous laugh would echo throughout the house. It was such a happy, genuine sound for Lauren. It reminded her of Camila.

Something reminded her even more of Camila, though. And that was Rowan's singing. Before her hearing had gone downhill, Lauren would occasionally catch Rowan humming to herself here and there. But now, Rowan shamelessly belted out lyrics whenever she felt like it.

After the doctor's appointment, Lauren had a long talk with Ally about what she could do for Rowan while she still had her hearing. Both girls agreed on one thing. Music. And Lauren made it her mission to introduce Rowan to as many songs, instruments, and sounds that she could before Rowan wouldn't be able to hear them.

Rowan loved this, and from then on, they always had music on in the house. As soon as they woke up, Rowan would run over to the CD player and pick a CD for the day. Her favorites were The 1975 and Imagine Dragons. They'd blast the music and dance around the house until Lauren was out of breath. Then Rowan would pick another CD and they'd do the same thing over again.

As time went on, Lauren noticed Rowan began turning the volume up a little louder each day. Soon, Lauren was aware that Rowan couldn't hear the lyrics, and only the beat.

Then, the day came when the volume wouldn't go any higher.

3 months ago

Lauren had woken up to hear the CD player turning on and off, filling the house with music and then silencing once again. She yawned, groggily pulling herself out of bed and venturing into the living room.

Approaching Rowan from the side so she could see her coming, she tapped her daughter on the shoulder to get her attention. Rowan looked up with a concerned look on her face.