TWO PEOPLE//Sam Fender

Fifteen

Saturday evening i rock up home, not late, maybe about 11ish after a night at the pub. 10 minutes later dad strolls in. Drunk.

"What you lookin at?" He asks us all walking past us. One of those nights is it then. "Did you have a good night?" I ask sitting next to him.

Sometimes just making small talk with him can stop him going mad. He starts getting lary when he's drunk if he thinks we're judging him sort of?

"Alright, yours?" He snaps back, "yeah alright thanks, i won Sam at pool" i reply smiling at him. "Who?" He asks, "my friend Sam from college" i explain. "Aw right, what were you drinking?" He asks gulping a can he got from the fridge. "Few different things, cider, few vodkas, bit of rum, you had a drink?" I ask him. I know he has but if he knows i know he'll take it wrong.

"So what if i have?" He snaps. "Oh nothing, I'm just asking seeing as you've seen your friends I didn't know if maybe you had a drink while you were out" i reply anxiously glancing at my big brother. "I'm a fucking adult if i want to drink i can, i dont need permission from you" he replies slapping me across the face. "I know dad, i was just making conversation with you, I've been drinking so how could i judge anyone else for it" i reply calmly. "Probably slept with a different bloke for every drink like a fucking slag" he spits back at me.

I didn't i used the 20 he gave me, which he gives me every Friday so i can go out with my friends.

"Don't look at me like that young lady, I'll swipe that look straight off your smug little face" he shouts slapping me again. "Have some fucking respect" he adds and stubs his cig on my arm.

"I'm going to bed" i tell mum and Eden in a hushed voice as i walk up the stairs. "Night sweetheart" mum mouths to me.

I know you're probably thinking why didn't she intervene, or eden, but if they do he'd go for me worse because its me they're sticking up for. I also made them both promise to stop intervening when i was 14 because it just makes it all worse.

My Sunday-Thursday dad makes me happy, friday and Saturday makes me miserable. How does a man make himself a scheduled alcohol abuser.

How does the man who walked me to the pub Friday evening to make sure i was safe be the same man who hits me 48 hour later?

How does a dad do that to his own daughter?

"India?" Eden whispers as he comes into my room, "leave the door open a bit" i demand he shuts it anyway. "Eden leave the door open slightly" i repeat glaring at him. He sighs and walks away from it still closed. "I'll fucking do it then shall i?" I mutter sarcastically. "I'm fucking sick of men not listening to me" i add. "I was listening but you don't need it open" he argues. I sigh and sit next to him.

"Why do you want it open?" Eden asks as if he doesn't know. "Because mum, what of things get bad and we can't help because we can't hear?" I reply rubbing my forehead stressfully. "She's gone to bed don't worry" he says quietly.

"Why are things like this eden" i ask trying not to cry, "because we have a dad who unfortunately only wants to do be that part time" he replies hugging me. "Can you imagine if it was different, like when we were kids" i ask cuddling up to him. "It was never not like this india, i just tried hiding it from you" he replies quietly. "What do you mean?" I ask looking up at my safety blanket brother. "Remember fridays when we used to go stay at grandmas because id beg for us to go and we'd stay up all night and then Saturdays when we'd fall asleep early watching a film because we didn't sleep Friday?" And just like that it all makes sense. "Aye I remember that" i reply quietly, "things weren't right then its always been like this, we're not missing something we once had but he's definitely got worse" eden replies swallowing a lump in his throat. "Thankyou for protecting me" i whisper to him, "it's what I'm here for, dad might be shit but at least you have a fuckin propa class brother" he says cockily and he's right.
-

"Morning princess" dad says as i walk down the stairs. I ignore him. "What's wrong love? Problems with the Aaron boy" he asks me. "No dad, problems with a man but not Aaron" i snap back. "Who is it then" he asks all concerned putting his tea down. "He hit me, twice" i tell my dad.

I regret this conversation because Eden and mum are still in bed. I'm alone.

"Who did?" He asks furiously. "Oh and he did this" i add showing him my arm. "Who was it?" He asks even more irate. "He called me disrespectful and a slag too" i continue. "Tell me who it was" he demands. "Do you really want to know?" I ask walking slightly further away just incase. He looks at me waiting for me to elaborate. "It was you dad".

No one holds him accountable and I'm sick of it. Maybe if he knew what he did he'd get a grip.

"It wasn't me, it was the drink love" he replies eventually, "that changes nothing dad, it was you just because you had drink inside you doesn't mean it wasn't, and I can't keep forgiving you and pretending it's not that bad because I've had a lifetime of it, eden has, mum has since you got married" i argue back. What am I doing.

"I'm sorry love" he says not taking his eyes off of me. "Aye maybe, but it's not enough anymore, if you were sorry and didn't want things to be like this you'd quit, the dad i have sunday to thursday is a good dad but then the weekend undoes all that" i tell him. I probably should keep my mouth shut now.

"Ive tried quitting you know that" he replies. "You have but not hard enough, and it's getting unbearable dad, if you don't quit I'm gonna have to leave and I'll take mum with me, we don't deserve the shit you give us when you're drunk, if you saw someone treat us how you do you'd kill him" i tell him before leaving the house.

I don't know where I'm going but I'm going.
-

Ive been walking round the park for 20 minutes when i hear a familiar voice shout my name.

"What?" I ask turning round to see Aaron. Great.

"You look sad you okay?" He asks me. "Told my dad how much of a cunt he is when he's drunk, I don't need your sympathy because it always ends up with us having angry sex and I'm done with it" i reply turning to leave, "no I know, but erm i want to say sorry" i stop instantly. "For everything, you're a pretty girl and you're a good girl but we are terrible for each other, I'm sorry we were how we were" he tells me, i miss when we were friends. We should've stuck at that. "I'm sorry too, but thanks for the few good times we did have" i reply flashing a small smile. "Thankyou too" he says returning the smile and hugging me.

"Treat Ola better, you don't have the money for the legal battle she could cause you...and I don't want you to have with someone what we had, that was ours" i tell him, "no one could be us, thankfully, I'll look after her" he replies still holding me tight.

"Aaron i know it sounds stupid but-" i start saying, "I wont forget you" he says taking the words out of my mouth. "I'll always love you, just not like that, go be happy with Sam, he's good for you" Aaron says quietly. "Be happy with Ola, can we be friends? Like we were" i ask him, "of course" he says kissing my head for what i think will be the last time ever.

We could've worked if we were more mature, but there's too much history to try now. I don't want to.

But why is everyone obsessed with me and Sam??