The lost shapeshifter

Chapter 7

"I'm going. You cannot stop me now, Jamie," she said and fell on one knee so her brother could look down at her. "But you can come and visit me whenever you want. I'm not far. And you know where I am now."

"You... you would rather be an assassin than come back home?" his kind soul was breaking and she knew she had screwed up.

"I would rather be free. Jamie... there are things that you can't understand, not now at least. I cannot explain it to you, but you must know that in everybody's life there comes a day when you find a family for yourself. A family that doesn't want to cut your wings, but a family that accepts that you want to fly."

"And... this family is not me?"

"It's not Aedion."

"Dad said... he said that you... you are an assassin now. One of the best alive."

She nodded. "That's what they say. Do you also want to be one?"

"No. I want to save the world, not kill it."

Erica smiled. Her father's words. She let her little brother go and said slowly, "Then stay here. I am sure dad will find a place for you as well."

She jumped on her horse's back and took one final look at Erica Ashryver's home. Gavriel was looking from a distant window, waiting for her to look up, but she never did. She saw her cousins, of course. Lyria and Sam were flying above her head and Ev and Leana were standing a few steps behind James.

Her other two brothers didn't come. Her father didn't come.

Not that they cared.

********
"Hello, stranger."

Tern looked up from his work and smiled at Erica. His beautiful little girl was home.

He jumped from his seat and hugged her, burying his face in her hair. He smelled Terrasen, he smelled what seamed to be disappointment, but he didn't say anything. He just... held her close.

Those weeks she was away, they weren't any fun. The boys were tired. No one seamed to worry at first, but every single night one of them came into his office, wanting to know if he had any news from their sister.

"Welcome home, Stormborn."

Her shoulders started shaking as a wave of tears hit Tern. He looked at the door, at the boys gathered to see her, to welcome her home. Kaine bit his lower lip as he looked at his shaking sister and silently showed the boys the way to the bedrooms.

"They hate me," Erica whispered through her tears. "They hate me."

Five years apparently made her brothers, her cousins or whoever she was speaking of, hate or dislike what she had become. But she had become the best girl in the whole entire world. And now she was shaking in his arms, too weak to lift her head from his chest. Too weak after probably two weeks of traveling, after whatever time she had spent in Terrasen, hiding her feelings away.

"Shh," Tern whispered. "Everything is going to be OK, Rica. Just give it a little time."

And Erica cried even harder in her master - found father's - arms.

******
She threw herself into her training and that scared Tern the most. Erica was exhausted, her face was sweating and she was shaking a little, but she continued hitting and fighting and training.

"Rica, come on," Tern said. "You need to rest."

"No."

"Erica."

Tern placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to stop her from fighting. Her eyes were filling with tears again. "Please. Let me do it."

"You are going to die from exhaustion, do you understand that? Rica, don't make that face! Do you realize that for the last two weeks since you came home you've been the first to wake up and the last to go to bed. You spend each spare minute training. And you barely eat!"

Her eyes never met his and that was when Tern knew. He knew that Terrasen had brought memories back, memories that she had fought so hard to erase from her everyday routine. Memories with her brothers or her cousins. Memories with her mother.

He hadn't seen her like this since five years ago.

"What the hell happened there?" he asked, despite everything. "What did they tell you?"

"One of my brothers... 'You disgust me. I have a fucking murderer for a sister and I wish that was the worst part of all'. The other one told me that I was the greatest," she hit his arm again, "assassin the world had ever seen. When I asked him if he wanted to be the same he told me that... he was born to save the world, not kill everyone in it."

"What makes you think that you aren't going to save the world?" Tern slowly asked. "I watched you everyday for the last five years and do you know what I see every single day?"

"A broken shapeshifter?"

"A woman that takes after her mother in every way possible. A woman with a heart of gold. A woman, ready to fight for what's right and for the people she loves. A woman that Lysandra Ashryver would be proud of."

Erica stopped hitting him and for a single minute she stayed silent. Her chest was moving up and down far faster than Tern was used to seeing her. She shook her head.

"Lysandra... my mother would be proud of a woman who stays, who fights. I... I ran away. I chose to run away from battle and hid my face, because I looked too much like that fucking idiot. Lysandra Ashryver would be proud of a woman that doesn't run when the first obstacle rises up!"

Tern stared at her. "And what exactly are you saying?"

"That she didn't give birth to a woman she would be proud of. She gave birth to the weak thing that died during that storm five years ago. I am the one who she came back as. And I am even weaker."

Erica tried to turn around and go out of the room, but her master's voice stopped her. "And what now? Erica Ashryver is dead. But what will Erica Stormborn do with her life? With her family?"

Erica stayed silent a few minutes. "She will forget that there ever was Erica Ashryver."

"Then she is a fucking idiot!" Tern yelled at her back. "When you came here, you told me who you were. You told me that you needed help to become the strongest woman the world had ever known. And I told you... do you remember what I told you?"

Erica took a deep breath, slowly turning around. "Tern..."

"I told you that I can't do that. I told you I couldn't imagine stronger woman than your mother so I offered you a choice..."

"Tern..."

" To make you the greatest assassin or to make you a woman your mother would be proud of. You said both."

Erica's face was extremely pale and her voice was weak. "Tern."

"If you turn your back on your family..." her hand started shaking. "You will betrayed both of us. And I know that you love me enough not to betray me."

As soon as his final words were out of his mouth, Erica's shaking body fell onto the ground. Her hair turned gold as the sun and her ears finally became what they were always supposed to be. Fae ears.

Tern took one look at her body and said, "Told you," before taking her to her room.