The Silver Soldier

I

"You killed him?" Scott asks, though it seems like more of a statement than a question. He already knows the truth. "You killed Donovan?"

I try to blink away the memory. But the image of Donovan's face is etched into my mind; I can still see the silver blood staining his lips, the pole sticking out of his stomach.

"He was going to kill my Dad." I tell Scott, glancing down at the wrench in my hand. It suddenly feels too heavy, my stomach twists at the sight of the dried mercury coating on it. Donovan's silver blood.

Scott had just handed it to me, confronted me about something I never told him about. The only way Scott could have had this wrench - the one I used against Donovan - is if Theo gave it to him.

Theo is - was - the only person that knows what I had done. Clearly he didn't keep that information to himself.

I look back up. "Was I supposed to just let him?"

"You weren't supposed to do this." He says. "None of us are."

I blink, stunned by his words. Donovan almost killed me, it was my life of his. "You think I had a choice?"

"There's always a choice."

Suddenly the rain is loud in my ears. My hair is soaking wet, dripping down my face. "Well I can't do what you can, Scott. I know you wouldn't have done it." My voice raises slightly. "You probably would've just figured something out, right?"

He nods. "I'd try."

"Yeah, because you're Scott McCall. The true alpha." I yell over the increasing rain. "Well guess what? Not all of us can't be true alphas." I tighten my grip on the wrench, wanting to throw it at something, anything. I'm angry, not just at Scott, but at Theo, at Donovan, at myself. I've never yelled at Scott, I don't think we've really had a fight like this. But against my better judgement, my anger gets the best of me. "Some of us have to make mistakes, Scott. Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes... Some of us are human!"

Scott begins to shake his head. "So you had to kill him?"

I stare at him in shock. "Scott, he was going to kill my Dad."

"But the way that it happened, there's a point when it's... it's not self defense anymore."

"What are you talking about? I didn't have a choice, Scott." I step forward, finally seeing the look on his face. At this point, I don't want to hug it out. I don't want to calm down. I know I should apologize, I know I should say I'm sorry. But I'm not the one in the wrong here. "You don't even believe me, do you?"

"I want to."

"Okay, alright. So believe me then." I wait for him to say something. "Scott, say you believe me." I urge, seeing the hesitation in his eyes. "Say it. Say you believe me."

He's no longer looking at me when he says, "Stiles, we can't kill people we're trying to save."

I step closer to him, raising the wrench as I do. It's only when he moves back that I realize what that small action had done. "Say you believe me." I repeat, and even though my gut is telling me he wont, my heart is still hoping he will.

"We can't kill people."He finally meets my eyes again. "Do you believe that?"

"Well, what do I do about this?" I ask, my heart breaking as I lower my voice. "What do you want me to do? Okay, just be..." I pause. "Scott, just tell me how to fix this, alright? Please just tell me. What do you want me to do?"

His focus seems to be on everything around us but me. I wait for his answer, rainwater dripping from my hair, and when he speaks I don't hear him. I had toned him out, toned everything out. My ears are ringing with silent rage. Whatever he had said to me in this moment, he has finished now. I watch as he he turns around and opens the door to the animal hospital, and without a glance back at me, he disappears behind it.

I look down at the wrench, most of the blood has washed off by now, but the little bit that hadn't stares back at me. Only Theo knew that I had killed Donovan. He told Scott, and Scott believed him? Scott believed him, and not me. He didn't think to ask me why I did it. If he stopped and looked past the blood on my hands, he would have found out that it was pure self-defense.

But he didn't.

I drop the wrench on the ground and walk to my jeep. I had trouble starting it before I got here, and something tells me that my night is about to get a whole lot worse if I can't start it now. I get behind the wheel, my heart still racing from the fight as I put the keys in the ignition. The engine turns over but doesn't start, I groan in frustration and try again. Once again it stalls. "Dammit." I take the keys out and hit the steering wheel with my fist.

I open the door and get back out in the rain, popping the hood to figure out the problem. I sigh at the sight of all the duct tape. This thing isn't going to last until college. I stick my arm inside, reaching towards the battery when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Go away Scott, I don't need your help-" I start to say, already annoyed with him, but his grip tightens, making me wince. I spin around, ready to push him away, but it isn't Scott staring back at me.

But a Dread Doctor.

I eye the wrench on the ground behind him, but he seems to know what I am about to try, because a second one comes out from behind him and picks the wrench up. My focus returns to the Doctor in front of me. I realize that it's too close for me to do anything but back up. But even when I do that, I bump into the hood of my jeep. With panic rising in my throat, I try to call for Scott, but the Dread Doctor places his gloved hand over my mouth, muffling the sound. I grab him, about to fight for my life, when I feel a sharp pain in my neck.

My vision begins to haze over, the world spinning around me. Once more I try to call out for Scott, but the only thing that comes out of my mouth is a trickle of silver mercury. It runs down my face, dripping off my chin and falling like rain to the ground.

The silver drops mix with the puddle of water beneath my feet; and in a few seconds, the only evidence that the Dread Doctors had been here was washed away.

~

I am only half conscious as I watch the three Dread Doctors hover over me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know what they are doing to me; what they are turning me into. I know that when I wake back up, I will no longer be human. I will eventually dig myself out of the hole they're going to bury me in with no memory of what they have done to me.

But the thing that scares me most, is that my friends have no way of knowing what I have been turned into. I will become exactly what they are trying to defeat, and they will be oblivious to it.

After trying too hard to keep my thoughts straight, I stop fighting whatever sedative they put me on, and with my brain feeling like mush, I let my eyes close.

Right before I go back under, I hear a familiar voice. "Stiles Stilinski." They say, sounding both amused and proud at the same time. Fuck you- I want to swear at them, but the words slur on my tongue. They laugh faintly. "May we meet again. But this time, let's do it right."

They stand over me for a second longer before leaving, thir departing footsteps echoing in my mind as I drift into unconsciousness. I fall asleep not knowing whether or not I will wake back up.