in which love is imperfect and hard to last forever.
"i'll keep waiting for you."
life is about loving and letting go of people, and y/n knows what it feels like to be left behind. her life unfolds mysteriously and she isn't sure of what her future...
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heeseung's point of view .
"lee jooseung, stop it!" i heard mother yell. j-jooseung? who i-is that? then, i could feel a excruciating pain in my head. a sharp scream was heard along with cries, but there were tears running down my cheeks, even when i couldn't feel myself cry.
"enough, jooseung, enough!"
i could hear a metal object fall on the ground, but i couldn't see a thing. "this useless boy deserves to die!" a man yelled. i swore i could feel my heartbeats slow down, but it immediately quickened when i got kicked in the stomach.
a nasty smell travelled in my nose as a smooth liquid splashed onto my lap. i was exhausted, but i didn't know why i felt that way. "lee jooseung, that is your son!" mother screamed as she embraced me. i sobbed, shivering in fear.
was i being hit by my own father?
"get away from that scumbag!" my so called "father" yelled before ripping mother off of my body. a loud and heart clenching cry came from the corner of the room. i immediately recognised it. y/n.. no, how dare he make my sister cry?
i gathered up the courage to stand up and finally opened my eyes. a man i had never seen before was standing right in front of me, holding a shovel. i touched my head and hissed. i looked at my hand and my eyes widened at the sight of blood.
i looked at the man and kicked him to the ground, sitting on top of him as i punched him mindlessly. "you fucking cunt, how dare you do this to me?!" i screamed, not caring about the blood that was splashing on my face.
he never fought back, that smirk on his face never disappeared. i felt enraged but at the same time, i felt great. i was hitting the man that abandoned me, my mother and my precious sister. i had never felt happier.
when i raised my hand to punch him again, he took ahold of it and flipped me over. now, i was under him. i could see y/n cry harshly in the corner of my eye, lee jooseung, you won't make it out of this day alive for making my sister cry.
he tightened his grip on me and twisted my arm, causing me to groan loudly in pain. the smirk on his face grew which enraged me even more. "you think you're so tough, lee heeseung? don't forget that i'm half of the reason why you even exist, brat!" he yelled before everything went black.
then, i could feel myself laying down on a bed. the room was warm, and my arm wasn't being twisted anymore. my head was wrapped in bandages, but blood was slowly seeping through it. i felt dizzy and paralysed at the same time. i tried to move but nothing worked.
suddenly, i heard a high pitched sob and immediately stopped what i was doing. "will my son be okay?" mother cried. i could hear a deep yet silent sigh, "some tissues in heeseung's brain are swollen, so he will have to undergo surgery.
"we will create a window in his skull to provide for room for the swollen tissues." i assumed, a female doctor, answered. i was scared. what did she mean by create a window in my skull? what exactly happened to me? mother sobbed again.
"h-how much will that be? i don't have much money and i'm afraid that i won't be able to pay for his surgery. w-will he be okay if he doesn't undergo surgery?" she asked hurriedly. i could just picture her worried face. "ma'am, you don't have to worry. your husband has just gotten arrested and your son's brain is damaged, so this one is on me."
mother gasped and cried again. "thank you, doctor shim, thank you! i will never forget your kindness!" she said in joy. hearing that made me happy for mother but.. i wasn't looking forward to the surgery. just thinking about it made me scared. was i going to die from it or was i going to die without it?
i was sweating in fear and panting rapidly until, "darling, are you alright?" i gasped, sitting up. i looked around me and realised that i was at home, in the living area. i touched my head and felt my hair. turning around, i sighed in relief when i saw jaeyun sitting there.
"you were squirming and crying in your sleep, did something happen?" he asked worriedly. i shook my head. lie. jaeyun sighed and held my hands in his, "please be honest with me." he pleaded, but i shook my head again, trying to get my hands out of his grip.
"heeseung, tell me the truth." jaeyun said, deepening his tone. i started to feel scared of him. he reminded me of someone i never wanted to even dream about again. "please stop.. you're scaring me.." i said, backing away from jaeyun.
"just tell me what you dreamt about!"
my heart dropped when he yelled. deja vu paid me an unpleasant visit as i crawled into a corner. i covered my ears with my hands, shaking in fear. jaeyun approached me with a look of regret, but i backed away from him.
he tried to touch me and shedded a tear. "i'm sorry for raising my voice at you, darling. can you please tell me about your dream?" jaeyun asked in a soft tone. i shook my head rapidly and looked away from him.
"go away, go away!" i screamed at him as i cried harder and louder. jaeyun still tried to hold me but i pushed him away in panic. i got up and ran to my room, locking the door before falling to the ground. i was panting in fear.
"jaeyun.. why did you have to hurt me this way?"
—
in this chapter mentions a nightmare that heeseung has which is related to tbi, which is short for traumatic brain injury. in heeseung's case, he has mild traumatic brain injury, which may affect his brain cells temporarily.
this nightmare was something like y/n's separate nightmares about the car crash, like a flashback. traumatic brain injury is usually caused by falls, crashes, violence and explosive blasts and for heeseung it was child abuse.
heeseung and y/n's father was never mentioned in the previous chapters because due to abusing his own son, he was arrested. heeseung was beaten on a daily basis when he was a child and mrs lee couldn't do a thing to help her son as she would get hit too.
y/n was never beaten and heeseung was happy as he didn't want his sister to get hurt. heeseung was mrs lee's favourite child because of his traumatic brain injury, and that is basically why y/n was neglected.
i've done a lot of research on traumatic brain injury for a few days so that i would be able to write about it a lot but ugh, i haven't really written that much about what i read. anyways.. i hope i didn't get anything wrong about traumatic brain injury 😓
