The 15 Reasons Why I Fell In Love With You

The Twelve Reason

"I feel completely cherished when I am in your presence. But why all of the sudden?"

She's been distant after her talk with Chan. Honestly, I should've not been bothered by that but it kills me. I heard that Chan and her were not just "Friends" but something else.

And for the very first time, I assumed that maybe this is the end for me. I once notice it too that she's always on her phone lately. The last time that I peaked through her phone, she scolded me and I never do it again.

She never does what she always does to me like running up to me when I came. She doesn't talk to me, she never sleeps in my room, and she wasn't there for me anymore.

I wish she was here, I wish that confessing to someone is the easiest thing to do, and I wish that I have the courage to say it to her.

Damn... I never knew that loving someone could be hurt like shit. I thought it was like what I watch in the movie or k-drama. Happy endings are not somehow true, life is full of surprises. You don't know what will happen tomorrow or in the future, not always is happy.

I should just forget about her and what I felt for her. I should remain friends with her but not that close. She shows me colors that I didn't see with someone else. She calls my name that makes me go crazy, and now I'm ruined because of her.

Flashback

"Unnie, I have a question?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Is it really that hard to confess your feelings?"

Jihyo-unnie blinked her eyes and scratch her head, maybe searching for an answer to my difficult question?

"Well, yeah. It's hard to confess with someone unless they felt something to you too but not the friend thing. I remember how Daniel confessed to me before. He was nervous to say it but eventually, he have the courage and he finally said it." She exclaimed with so much admiration about Daniel-oppa.

I smiled thinking they were lucky to have each other. I looked down and another question bothers me again.

"Does... Does he scared of being rejected before he confesses to you?" I asked again. This time Jihyo-unnie didn't utter a word. I guess she will tease me by asking questions that are related to a relationship.

"Of course, he was scared but I feel the same way too. He feels relief when I say I like him back" She muttered and I nodded while listening to her.

She suddenly held my hand and rubbed it.

"I know what's going on, Tzu" She mumbled.

"It's easy when you imagine saying it to the person you love but it's hard when you're actually doing it. But you know? We should say what we truly feel because it'll more break our hearts if we leave the words unspoken" She explained.

What if that's the only thing I could do? Let her go with my unsaid words...

I'm started to have insecurities that before I don't have. I'm not an open book, no one can tell if I'm happy, sad, or mad. However, how could she know what's makes me happy? How could she know that I'm uncomfortable? If she knows everything then... Why could she not know that I like her?

"Tell her, it's not too late. Be brave and don't be scared. If she turns you down... it's okay at least you tried. At that moment, you should be proud of yourself because you fight for your fear of being rejected. You're so cool, Tzuyu-ah" Jihyo-unnie added, patting my head before leaving my room.

I've been figuring out what I truly feel about you for years. They were right, it will be a waste if I let go of you and my unspoken words. I should fight for you and my fear.

I'm so slow...