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i woke up yet again, in cold sweats thinking about horace. it's a reoccurring nightmare of the glass hitting the ground and me grabbing my gun as i fled to the closet. the terror strikes as i replay my gun jamming.
after i wake in fear i just sit and think about horace; not of the thought of him killing me, no of the thought of him forcefully removing me from the house
i walked to the bathroom, it was more on the modern side. large mirror lined with a built-in led light, i drug my feet on the clean marble floor as i looked at myself in the mirror
i pushed open the glass door to the shower; i analyzed the shower. there were two shower heads they were hoisted from the ceiling and two handheld showerheads on the opposite sides of the shower
i stripped from my clothes and kicked them to the ground, i shut the door behind myself and i twisted the shower faucet to the hottest temperature
i stood over the showerhead as i lathered my hair with shampoo as i just stood and thought about me leaving my old life behind; the constant thought i keep coming back to is horace
i rinsed my hair and started to braid it so it wouldn't get in my face, i grabbed my towel and soap and began to lather myself i heard the door creak open
it was no other than horace, he walked in quietly. he never spoke a word he just sat on the sink and removed his face mask and just analyzed me
it was extremely quiet all you heard was the water hitting the shower floor
he stared intensely as i rinsed off the soap, he started at my face and his eyes slowly drifted lower and lower, "horace do you want me to leave the water running for you?" i asked breaking the tension and silence
he groaned and nodded his head as he started to take off his shirt. i opened the shower door and grabbed my towel and closed the door as the shower water still ran - we sat in the bed, horace didn't seem like himself. he just sat flipping through the tv channels as he had an extremely firm grip on my waist, it was so firm that it was slightly painful
he flips through the channels he slowed his pace until it came to an abrupt halt
it was a news channel depicting my kidnapping and the crime scene; they showed my ransacked home. my emotions and thoughts turned into a blur as i started to panic
horace's grip loosened and he just stared blankly into my eyes. it's like he could see right through me and he could just see the panic in my body language - "kaior you have to fucking eat! mama, it's your favorite" he slightly lowered his tone as he raised the spoon to my mouth
id yet to calm down, you could see that horace has become extremely nervous as well, not because of the news article he told me earlier that he had it handled with a grin
he became nervous because of my lack of eating, drinking, and sleep. he exclaimed during one of his rambling and whispering to himself is that i'm his sole purpose
i just stared at him and observed his body language; it's so scary how he can go through emotions. he goes from completely calm to a completely different irate person
i ate off the spoon as i continued to observe him, he completely calmed almost melted at the sight. he was almost euphoric in relief
he showed so many sociopathic tendencies, he shows so little remorse and empathy for his wrongdoings.
the only tendency he didn't display was sociopaths aren't motivated by love and he still could understand other people's emotions - still weakened with panic, horace picked me up from the large dining room table and carried me to the large bedroom we shared
he sat me on the bed and flipped through the channels, i started to panic even more. it was a deja vu moment as i heard the buttons click repeatedly
he stopped on my favorite television show, sat next to me ran his fingers through my curls, and whisper calming words in my ear
the pain truly subsides it was almost like a weight being pulled off of my back. horace frightens me yet comforts me beyond belief
i just looked him in his eyes and melted under his touch. id yet to speak to him since earlier that day. i couldn't pinpoint the time
he continued to speak to me as he slightly rocks me back and forth as if he was trying to sway me to sleep
he kissed my forehead and cheeks as i drifted back to sleep
