~LIVING FOR YOU~

Chapter 9: I'll Be Okay

I've made it home, and honestly, I have a feeling things aren't going to go smoothly today.

Papa probably finished his case of whiskey, so that means I'm going to have to get a new one from somewhere, but that also means he might hurt me.

I don't want to do this anymore

But I have to

One more year, then I'm outta here.

just kidding, I have no money

I'm super broke

You know, Zane could be a really hot, and good sugar daddy. I mean, he bought a $130 000 car, so I think the sugar daddy might just work out with me and him

yea....I'm stalling

but it's still a good idea. I should ask him one day. He better say yes otherwise were going to have problems

problems like me tackling him till he says yes

anyways, here goes nothing

I walk into my house and immediately notice papa is awake. He's sitting on the stair case, like he was waiting for me. This isn't gonna go well

"where were you, why did you come home so late huh" papa says while getting up and walking towards me.

I stay silent, to fearful to speak to him. To scared he might do something he wont remember.

"you know, your mother was never late. She was perfectly on time. For dinner, for cleaning, for working, she wasn't a minute late, or a minute early. She was PERFECT." Papa say's his voice sloppy from all the alcohol.

"She was perfect, but you ruined her" Papa say's his face directly in front of me. He's staring into me, like he want's an answer.

I don't have one. All I have are hot tears streaming down my face.

Everything he said is true, she was perfect, more than perfect, but I ruined her.

"Answer me!" Papa scream. It makes me flinch so hard I have to hold the railing so my knees don't buck and make me fall.

"I'm sorry" I say, my voice wavering, shacking, with hot, burning tears streaming down my face like waterfalls.

A waterfall right now seems like a perfect place to jump into.

"your sorry, You killed her, and your sorry" He says, he's voice steady, and dangerous as the sea

Suddenly he grabs my shirt and pulls me to him. Then he grabs my neck.

A daughter should feel loved, comfortable, her fathers arms should be a safe place, not one of pure, burning hell, not the scariest.

I can smell the alcohol from here, but I can also smell my fear.

He's grip is so tight that my vision starts turning into stars, then the conners turning into spots of blackness. I can hear him saying stuff, but with his hand at my neck choking me, I can't hear anything.

This is how I'm going to die.

In the hands of my father, this is how I'm going to die

Papa lets me go and I stumble back, doubling over and coughing over and over again, trying to get air into my deprived lungs. My face is streaked with dried tears, while new ones are coming down faster than a flood takes a city.

Then my knees give out, and I fall down to the floor.

The sound and weight of my fall must have been so strong that I hear a bottle of whiskey roll over from the coffee table, and shatter on the floor next to papa.

He looks down, than back to my face

"look at me" Papa has such a scary face on right now. Papa has done horrible things in the past, but I've never seem him get this scary.

He looks like he wants to kill me

I hear his belt unbuckle. See him take it off and wrap it around his wrists.

"you took her away from me. Your needs were so important. You had to go to the park that day. You had to go and play with monkey bars that day. Well, that day caused you to murdered your own mother." Papa says he's voice shaking and wavering

"you killed your mother" He slurs. I hold back the heartbreaking sob that was going to make its way out of my mouth.

"I know" I finally let the sob out

"I know I Killed her" I say while looking at him directly in the eyes

does he think I don't blame me for my mothers death. It's my fault. I wanted to go to the park to have fun. Momma said no so many time. So many times, but I was stubborn and wanted to go, so she took me.

While we were there, a shooting happened. A guy came up to me and grabbed momma and me by the arms and separated us.

momma begged him not the kill me.

So he killed her.

After that memories, I screamed in agony

papa slashed my back with his belt.

Over, and over again

After that initial scream, I don't think I cried after.

I was so numb from the pain, that eventually, It didn't hurt. I welcomed it'

I deserve this.

I killed momma

I deserve this

"Go upstairs" Papa says while throwing the belt on the floor and stumbling back and sitting on the steps of the staircase

I get up, feeling blood drip on the floor, and running down my back. I walk up the stairs, go to my room, and lock the door. I walk to my bathroom, and look at me.

My neck is bruised purple and red, and my shirt has darkened with the colour of my blood.

I look at my face and say

"I'll be okay"

Did you like this chapter?
Any feedback?

I know this chapter was a little heavy towards the end, but I still hope you liked it

That's all i have for today

Have a nice day

See you soon

Word count: 1556
LIVING FOR YOU