desperate move | sanayeon

i: miss pretty eyes

I sighed. "The truth is, I have a crush on her but I still don't know her name." There I said it. I don't care if she'd tease me. I wanted to get to know my seatmate. I decided to call her 'Miss pretty eyes' for now.

"What? Just how dumb can you get?"

"Shut up!"

"Don't wonder why until now you don't have a girlfriend. The first thing you must do is to smarten up." She gave me a pat on the shoulder like I was a hopeless case.

"Stop judging me! Just you see, I'll ask my seatmate out one of these days."

"I'd like to see you try," Jeongyeon smirked when her phone suddenly rang, interrupting our conversation.

"It's babe," Jeongyeon said.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, go to her."

"Don't worry, I'll try to find anything about your seatmate."

I didn't expect Jeongyeon would care. It touched my heart. But I wouldn't get my hopes up, Miss pretty eyes was out of my league anyway.

"Okay." I waved her goodbye. "Have fun with your babe!"

"I'll sure do." Jeongyeon excitedly left the building, leaving me feeling envious of her happy love life.

I wonder why it seemed easy for my best friend to get girls when it's hard to get girls. You think it was easy?  No, it wasn't. Because first, girls were intimidating and they were pretty.

I let out a sigh as I decided to just go home at the condominium unit my parents gave me. It was a gift from graduating high school.

As soon as I got home, instead of studying I went to ask Google how to get a girlfriend.

Well, I've been asking Google since I came out and yet to no avail.

I stared at myself in the mirror, studying my reflection. I'm cute and I'm pretty and I know it. I don't know what's lacking.

Was I aloof? But I'm approachable and friendly. I've been to a number of LGBT events in school and earned a number of acquaintances.

Or maybe I was too friendly?

Riiiiing!!!

I jumped when my phone rang. Checking the caller ID, I saw  Chaeyoung's name on the screen.

Chaeyoung was a freshman I met during an art exhibit. She's also into girls. And she's single.

"'Sup?" I said when I answered the phone.

"Where are you? Let's hang-out."

She always asked me to hang-out but she never asked me out. Maybe I should man up this time if I wanted to have a girlfriend.

"Sure. I'll go to you," I replied. Chaeyoung then told me where she was and I went to dress up, not really much but enough to be noticed.

Chaeyoung asked me to meet at a cafe near the university.

At first, the afternoon was going well. We talked about our interests and I just listened to her talk about her views in the LGBT community and about the same sex marriage and about people to be more understanding and accepting.

I almost thought of mentioning Miss Pretty Eyes to Chaeyoung, but I hesitated. Because what if I got a chance on Chaeyoung?

I had to see where this relationship was going.

However, in the middle of our conversation, someone texted Chaeyoung and she had to be gone for a few minutes. But not long enough to end our hang out.

I waited from my seat and that's when I spotted Miss Pretty Eyes entering the cafe.

"Omo," I mouthed, quickly fixing my hair, but of course the effort would go to waste because she didn't even take a glance at my direction as she sat at the corner.

I thought she was alone at first when a guy appeared and approached her seat. And for the first time, I saw her smile.

I was about to stare more when suddenly my view was blocked. Chaeyoung had returned and she was with someone.

My jaw almost dropped at the gorgeous woman next to her. She's tall and she looked like a model.

"Unnie, meet my girlfriend, Tzuyu." Chaeyoung was beaming and for some strange reason, I couldn't find myself to smile. But I managed.

I wasn't sure what I was feeling, but it hurt. And the night was ruined.

I casually stole a glance towards my seatmate's table.  And whoever the guy she was with, was probably her boyfriend. She's probably happy compared to how I felt right now.

I'm so pathetic. First, I had false hope towards this freshman and second, my crush was straight.

I wanted to tell Jeongyeon to just forget about my crush. But she wasn't probably serious when she said she'd find anything about her. I should have never opened it.

But I'm proud of myself because I've survived the night with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. And I might say that they're a lovely couple.