To Be Shameless : To No Longer Have Inhibitions

"It's nice to see something more pathetic than I feel right now."

Chuuya decides to drop by the agency the next day. He goes early in the morning because he knows that Dazai doesn't even enter the office before noon. He makes a point to dress the same way he usually does for meetings. He doesn't want this to come across as a friendly visit.

He sways past people in the street, taking in the familiar sites, people move around him, men clad in cheap suits walking to their morning transmute, women and children gravitating towards shops in clusters. He nurtures the warm feeling Yokohama inspires in his gut gratefully, he needs the reassuring sites-the promise that he has something to return to if this thing with Dazai doesn't go well.

The Agency building is old and ugly, it doesn't hold the same grace and structure that the Port Mafia HQ holds and with a pang Chuuya remembers once again the chasm between the Dazai he knew and the present. "That" Dazai would never have set foot in a place like this- simply have ordered Chuuya in and sat outside playing. Although the Agency is getting to know the old Dazai now too. He wonders how their bearing the burden of Dazai-stripped of all of his layers, bearing all his darkness.

The Agency doors swing open to chaos, Chuuya isn't even surprised. No one seems disturbed to see Chuuya, Kenji actually hugs him. Chuuya stiffens unsure of how to react, his hands hovering over the boys back before he can settle on an appropriate reaction Kenji pulls away talking excitedly.

" I knew you would come Mr. Big City Man," He says, yanking Chuuya along with a strong grip. "Dazai-san has been so grumpy lately." He tugs Chuuya sharpy around Kunikida who is hunched over his desk, scribbling with vengeance.

"You can just call me Chuuya, amd um, I'm not actually here to see Dazai, the Agency Director-is he here? This is a purely business visit, unfortunately" He mumbles, unsure of what to do in the face of such boundless enthusiasm.

"Oh yes, you can see him soon, after you snap Dazai-san outta his funk that is!" Kenji's grip becomes crushing and he turns to face Chuuya with a brittle grin, "After all Dazai-san is sad because of Chuuya-san , right?"

"No," Chuuya says, he activates his ability and sharply yanks his wrist away from Kenji, tugging his glove back into place. "Anyways," He mumbles, "I thought shitty-Dazai only came into the office after noon, isn't this cutting into his plans to commit a double sucide or something?"

Kenji gives him a pitying look, and Chuuya sniffs in response too desolate to respond properly.

"Please Chuuya-san, you can at least try right?" He chirps encouragingly, nudging Chuuya in the direction of a desk where a mangled pile of brown and white rests.

"Don't you have work to do?" Chuuya asks, cringing immediately. His skin feels too small, and suddenly with a vicious start Chuuya releases how much he misses the easy closeness they had, the tacit understanding that they were supposedly renowned for. Dazai had to ruin it. He can see Kenji darting away from the corner of his and he is suddenly overcome with the desire to call him back.

But then Dazai's head is swinging up, shock colouring his features. Chuuya's frown deepens when he remembers that this Dazai, who is under the influence of the ability, can't lie. He genuinely believed that Chuuya would leave him, as if Chuuya could leave. Chuuya was always the one who stayed.

Dazai makes an obvious effort to school his face into something more impassive and fails miserably. Chuuya feels pathetically ecstatic at the happy grin splitting Dazai's face, the faint flush rising high on his cheeks.

"What do you want Chuuya.?" Dazai's voice rises in pitch when he says Chuuyas name, pathetically hopeful.

Both of them were pretty pathetic actually.

"We can fix you."