A Handful of Daffodils (Forgotten Series, #7)

Chapter Forty-Three

"If he doesn't find out, my daughter will be safe?" I looked up at her slowly and Mene paused before giving a small nod. "Okay. I will take the deal. I want to keep her." I just wanted to keep her, I wanted to feel her grow inside me. I had lost everything, I had lost so much. I wanted to keep this tiny part of me. Brochan was a great father and he was so mad at me but if I could have a tiny, tiny piece of him, I wanted to keep it. "I want to keep her." I pressed my hands to my stomach as if I could feel the little life growing within me.

Mene let out a sight that sounded as ancient as it felt. "So be it but you need to remember this, right here, when you stand before me, your daughter in my arms, that you made this choice for a fenale that was never supposed to breathe." With that Mene stood up. "Now it is your turn to breathe." She held out her hands and I looked up at her before the darkness started to press inwards. "Breathe it in." The pain that followed her words was vicious as I fell into the darkness once more.

~~~

The pain exploded around me, it moved through me so aggressively it felt like I couldn't breathe. I could hear Simon murmuring to me, telling me it was okay. I fell in and out of the darkness, trying hard to breathe through it, breathe it in like Mene asked of me. My back burned like it was on fire, I couldn't move or open my eyes. But the thought of my daughter staying safely inside of me was a calming one. She was alive and that was what I wanted.

Things came in pulses and in bits. I could hear Simon more than anyone but Ellie was there and I even heard Lisa. I couldn't open my eyes but I was aware things were being given to me, something that dulled the pain and helped me slip into the darkness. I didn't know how long it passed like that before I was able to open my eyes fully.

I was on my belly, my head to one side and I could see Simon sitting next to the bed on the floor. I blinked slowly, my back ached and burned and I couldn't move but I was so relieved to see him. "Hi." It came out of me croaked and he jolted upright, nearly whirling around. His expression was drawn and he looked haggard and worn. He beamed, cupping my cheek before pressing his forehead against mine.

"Oh thank Mene." He breathed it out before pulling away from my forehead and then kissing it softly. "We've been scared you would slip away and not come back. You did for a moment." He brushed some loose curls away from the side of my face and I blinked, feeling exhausted before I looked at him again. "How are you feeling?" He asked it as he brushed my cheekbone with his thumb.

"Thirsty." My mouth and throat felt dry and he nodded as he let my cheek go to twist, grabbing a cup from the bedside table.

"Here." He held the straw in the glass, guiding it to my mouth. I took a drink and sighed at the relief it brought. I swallowed the water eagerly until Simon pulled it away. "You've been out for a week and a half. We managed to get the bleeding under control a few days after we got you home." He set the cup down before shoving a hand through his hair. He had bags under his eyes and looked far too skinny. "He ordered me to leave you there. You would have died." His voice cracked and his eyes went glassy and I tried to reach out to touch him and he merely grabbed my hand, holding it on the bed as he let out a shuddering breath.

"Jason got you down and brought you here. You were nearly dead. Then a healer arrived, named Francis, we don't know where he came from or what pack he was from but he helped make sure you didn't die. But you healed faster than we thought and he's been gone for over a week now." He pulled my hand close and kissed the back of it gently. "If he hadn't shown up, you would've died." His voice warbled a little bit and I swallowed.

"I want to sit up." I asked it softly and he nodded. My back didn't hurt as much as I remembered. It throbbed and ached but not as sharply as it had.

Simon nodded and carefully and gently helped me sit up, not letting me twist my back. Once I was sitting Simon went to lift the blanket to cover my breasts when he stopped. "What happened?" He looked horrified as he reached out and pressed a palm to the scars on my chest. I tried to shrug but grimaced in pain instead.

"The rogue." I blinked slowly, I was tired, like sitting up took all my strength.

"He..." Simon swallowed as he trailed his fingertips over the marks. "These are brutal. Can you tell me what happened?" He asked it so softly and I nodded slowly.

"He was in the house, he chased me and I ran. He caught me and used his claws but he tried to get Maeve, I twisted and he cut me." I slurred it slightly, my eyes closing more and Simon nodded. "Then I ran again and some other rogues chased me to the river." I could remember it so clearly, standing in the river, that voice screaming at me.

"You went into the river." His voice wavered and I nodded slowly, trying hard not to fall over. I was so tired.

"Went in... woke up on the river bank... and walked." I swallowed hard and Simon shook his head and my eyes watered. "I wanted to go home." I whispered it and sniffled. "I got sick. They got infected." I gave a slow gesture to the scars. "A pack found me, Fortis." The tears leaked out. "I told the Hunters to find my home. I told them your name and Brochan's." My voice cracked on his name. He hated me so much. He hated me now and it was all my fault. "I wanted them to find Brochan but they didn't. They never found him." My voice cracked and the tears were hot against my skin. "He hates me." I whispered it and Simon shook his head.

"That fucker will be lucky if I don't fucking kill him!" At the harshly said words I shook my head.

"It's my fault, Simon." It was. Brochan was right. I should have stayed in the craft hall, I never should have run to the river. I never should have done what I did. Everything that happened was my fault.

"No it's not. It wasn't your fault!" He grabbed my shoulders, looking into my eyes. "None of this is your fault." He said it but it didn't mean that it was true. It was my fault.

"Simon-" Lisa's voice was low and she stopped when she spotted me sitting up. I didn't know what to say and I just blinked at her. I didn't have the energy to fight with her. "What are those?" She pointed at me and Simon let out a sigh.

"The rogue attacked her, trying to kill her and Maeve. She escaped him and he left her with those." Simon's voice cracked and I watched as Lisa's expression shuttered as she looked between the scars and me before she turned on her heel and walked away. I felt a little concerned but Simon just shook his head.

"Let's get you to lay down again." He stood up and then helped me lay down more more. "Sleep, Menza. Rest and heal." I nodded and swallowed hard, pressing the side of my face to the pillow as he pulled the blankets up. As much as it hurt, as much as my heart lay broken in my chest, I was glad I was able to be with Simon.

I had missed him, so very much.