Numbness - Larry Stylinson AU

Chapter 8

"He yelled?" Liam asked unbelievingly.

"It was like a switched turn on or something like that, and he looked about two seconds away from strangling me. The anger, the pain, the hatred he held in his eyes and his voice was overwhelming," Louis said with a shudder at what Harry looked like. "But hey, that's an emotion, and maybe we are heading in a good direction."

"Yeah," Niall said quietly. "Let's find him and wrap him in a blanket and protect our little Hazza," Niall said with more determination.

"Great," Zayn said. "We should split up. Two that way and two this way, call if you have him." They nodded, and Liam and Louis walked to the right, and Zayn and Niall walked to the left, and the search for Harry began.

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Three hours later, they met back at the park with no Harry. They had searched the entire forest and ended up bumping into the other group in their efforts. There was no trace of Harry anywhere. They decided to keep calling him and checking around the forest, park, and neighbourhood.

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Another four hours later, and still no sign of Harry.

Louis got into his car with the other three, and they drove around the neighbourhood and further searched for Harry. They went to the school, the old foster home and just driving around in the night and found no Harry.

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They got back to Horan's house in the early mornings, and Liam called the cops. The Tomlinson-Deakin family came to the Horan's, and all of them worried about Harry. Everyone was up, and Maura and Jay had made everyone coffee or tea, and everyone who had his number had all called or texted him.

When the cops arrived, Louis told him about what happened in the forest and even showed them where they were before Harry ran off. Niall tried to give them as much information about Harry as he could think. They gave a description, and the cops put an APB and an Amber Alert out for Harry.

The four friends ended up staying at Niall's, and they were on the couch staring off into space. They couldn't search for Harry because their parents said they were out all night and needed sleep before going out again, but sleep was not an option for them. Their minds were racing too much, and they were too worried about Harry to sleep.

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Harry had run from Louis, still feeling the anger rise in him and thought running would give him some release. He got tired, and he walked and let his legs decide where he would end up. His mind is too occupied with rebuilding the wall that is so quickly crumbling down.

He found himself at the train station, and he was now staring at the train route that would get him to Holmes Chapel. Mindlessly he bought a ticket, thankful for the wallet in the back pocket and hopped on.

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"Hi," Harry said softly. "It's been a while," he sat down in front of Gemma's and Anne's headstone. "I miss you guys so fucking much. I don't even know what to say because there's too much I want to say, but none of that seems important anymore. But it's hard. Mom, it's too hard to be here anymore. After all the rape, the abuse, the degradation, the mind games, I can't handle it anymore," Harry said but was getting more challenging as he let the tears fall from his eyes. "I tried so hard thinking if I held it together, then maybe I can hold on long enough, so I am out of the system, but that is in two years. I got adopted by Maura and Bobby, but that doesn't change the ten years of hell I went through. I can't. I can't hold it together anymore, and I am too tired to pick myself up and put myself together." Harry let out a loud sob into the quietness of the cemetery. Harry curled into a ball and put his face in between his knees, and let himself break entirely down for the first time in a long time.

"Why do I have to put myself together if someone else broke me?" He asked before letting out another wail and hugging his knees tighter for any comfort he could gain from them. Harry wanted to say more, but the pain in his chest was too intense. He was crying so hard that he barely got any air in his lungs.

"Why did you two have to die? Why are the good ones that leave? Why couldn't I be there with you then I could've left with you? Why did you leave?" Harry asked quietly and looked at the headstone with tears clouding his eyes.

"Why did I have to be raped? Why did I have abused? What did I do to deserve this? Was I a horrible six-year-old child that Santa decided that being on the naughty list wasn't enough and killing you two was my punishment? Why? I want to know why?"

He felt as if his entire body was cracking, and his heart was working ten times harder to even get any blood around his body. He felt weak and as if the weight of the ten years was about to crush him. He didn't see any faith in the future or another way out. It was this, or he got crushed by what his life turned out to be.

It was too painful to breathe, too painful to live, too painful for his heart to keep beating.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'll see you soon."

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A month later. A month later was probably the worse in Niall and Louis's life.

Louis, Niall, Liam and Zayn were all pulled out of school and told to go to Niall's house. When they arrived, two cops were standing in the kitchen with Maura and Bobby. The officers informed them that Harry's body was found in Holmes Chapel, washed up in the lake. They only identified it as Harry by the wallet in his jacket pocket.

They informed them that Harry had bought flowers for his mum and sister and they thought that he visited the cemetery and then walked to the bridge and jumped.

The trauma sucks, and it is painful, draining, heartbreaking, and all-around terrible, but sometimes the recovery looks ten times worse. When deciding to make the jump, it is between what would cause the less pain. Mental and emotional pain hurts so much more than physical pain and is something that one may never fully heal from.

It's funny to Louis that even though he hardly knew Harry as a person and for who he is under all that trauma, he had such a significant impact on his life. He never forgot the intelligent, tall, curly head green eye teen.

The End