MAGNETIC [H.S.]

36. maybe next week

"Tell me about Harry. Why is he so convinced that he can get out of this now? Since when does Harry give a shit about anything?"

"I don't know, Dad. Maybe he's just bored? Maybe he'd like to be able to just live his life without a bunch of fat whiny men biting at his ankles for their next fix?

"Harry isn't built like that. None of you are."

"You're wrong. Just because you married into misery and making money is the only thing that gets you off at night, doesn't mean we're the same. We aren't built like you, because none of you actually fucking raised us. If it wasn't for them, I probably would have ended up just like you. What a waste of a life that would have been."

"You sound as pathetic as she was." He snorted at me but the vein in his neck was straining, he was pissed.

"Stop talking about Ashton like she's dead. She's not dead, she just hates us."

"She's as good as dead to me."

"God, I wish we would have all run away with her." I tried to mutter it under my breath, but I should have known better.

I returned to the city with three broken fingers. I bailed on the plans with the group that weekend but managed to facetime Ash for a bit while she worked in the studio. I missed her, and everyone, and September, but each meeting with my father just kept getting worse.

Halloween weekend I came home with a broken nose, but I didn't relapse. Bruised ribs, busted lip, black eyes...but I didn't relapse and I didn't slip up about Ashton. That's all that I cared about.

I wanted to kill Jameson Payne with my bare hands.

I wanted to scream at Harry for making shit so much worse for Liam.

I wanted to scream at Liam for not telling them, for not letting them have his back.

I wanted to scream at Louis to come back because everything is going to shit and Liam needs him.

I wanted to scream at Ashton to open her fucking eyes and realize what is going on.

No, I didn't really want that. I didn't want her to find out, because if she did, and she left again, Liam wouldn't survive it. I don't think that any of them could deal with the loss of her again. Not after Louis.

I wanted to scream a lot, but I didn't. I called Axel a lot, and he listened to me rant like a good little brother. I called Kenna once, but she didn't pick up. So I just walked back to the freezer and got another bag of peas to put on Liam's poor, broken face.

He smiled at me and laid his head in my hand, a nice moment of peace and love that he desperately needed.

And then the door buzzer went off.